¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think adopting pets are much better

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-11-19 272

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, adopting pets are much better than buying pets. I'll cite two reasons why my opinion is.
First, adopting pets can save our money. Pet shop wants to earn money, so they sell pets expensive prize. Adopting pets is free, and the result is same with buying pets.
Second, our feeling is better when we adopt pets than buy pets. It's because when we buy pets, we don't feel 'I rescued the pets!'. But adopting pets makes us proud.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel! You did a great job! You delivered your ideas in an orderly way. Keep it up! However, be careful with these words-price and prize. Price is the amount of money you have to pay for something while prize means award. 

-Teacher Debbie

In my opinion, adopting pets are much better than buying pets. 
>> In my opinion, adopting pets is much better than buying pets. 

I'll cite two reasons why my opinion is.
>> I'll cite two reasons why this is my opinion.

First, adopting pets can save our money. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Pet shop wants to earn money, so they sell pets expensive prize. 
>> Pet shops want to earn money, so they sell pets at a higher price.
 
Adopting pets is free, and the result is same with buying pets.
>> Adopting pets is free, and the result is the same as buying pets.

Second, our feeling is better when we adopt pets than buy pets. 
>> Second, our feeling is much better when we adopt pets than when we buy pets. 

It's because when we buy pets, we don't feel 'I rescued the pets!'.
>> It's because when we buy pets, we don't feel, "I rescued these pets!"

 But adopting pets makes us proud.
>> However, adopting pets makes us proud.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113927 Homework_Nov.17 ³²*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 208
113926 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 194
113925 What are the qualities every leader should have? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 181
113924 What can you say about the 6-month long lowering of fuel taxes... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 227
113923 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 1
113922 Do you want to be a business woman? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 2
113921 What are the rules you usually break? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 1
113920 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 208
113919 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 226
113918 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 442
113917 Religion is good thing but... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 159
113916 Weak country always be colonized by strong country ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 232
113915 Today different types of robots are being developed which can... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 360
113914 What are the advantages in disadvantages of having a... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 2
113913 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 202
113912 HOMEWORK ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 507
113911 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 176
113910 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 232
113909 Would you rather be poor and happy of rich and unhappy? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 1
113908 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 187

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04