¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think adopting pets are much better

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-11-19 352

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, adopting pets are much better than buying pets. I'll cite two reasons why my opinion is.
First, adopting pets can save our money. Pet shop wants to earn money, so they sell pets expensive prize. Adopting pets is free, and the result is same with buying pets.
Second, our feeling is better when we adopt pets than buy pets. It's because when we buy pets, we don't feel 'I rescued the pets!'. But adopting pets makes us proud.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel! You did a great job! You delivered your ideas in an orderly way. Keep it up! However, be careful with these words-price and prize. Price is the amount of money you have to pay for something while prize means award. 

-Teacher Debbie

In my opinion, adopting pets are much better than buying pets. 
>> In my opinion, adopting pets is much better than buying pets. 

I'll cite two reasons why my opinion is.
>> I'll cite two reasons why this is my opinion.

First, adopting pets can save our money. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Pet shop wants to earn money, so they sell pets expensive prize. 
>> Pet shops want to earn money, so they sell pets at a higher price.
 
Adopting pets is free, and the result is same with buying pets.
>> Adopting pets is free, and the result is the same as buying pets.

Second, our feeling is better when we adopt pets than buy pets. 
>> Second, our feeling is much better when we adopt pets than when we buy pets. 

It's because when we buy pets, we don't feel 'I rescued the pets!'.
>> It's because when we buy pets, we don't feel, "I rescued these pets!"

 But adopting pets makes us proud.
>> However, adopting pets makes us proud.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114552 How would you compare yourself now to the old you? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 266
114551 Is this sentence grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 286
114550 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 382
114549 If you could use a magical spell, like a love spell, on... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 1
114548 The bus station ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 0
114547 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 266
114546 What are the five things you have on your bucket list? ¾È*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 294
114545 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 4
114544 Lou ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 303
114543 Why it is important to have a permission ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 297
114542 Where is it best for you to stay over? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 285
114541 Rider shortage driving up cost of your order À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 1
114540 What is the best memory you have of you and your family doing... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 398
114539 What do you think of traveling amid the pandemic? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 424
114538 What do you usually do on weekends? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 1
114537 Young Ann, and old Ann ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 358
114536 Homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 693
114535 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 939
114534 Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 283
114533 lend money ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 915

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04