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영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

My school homework

작성자: 김*환
2021-11-22 1501

회원님의 영작문

My school homework is 'writing'. Please check my writing and correct the grammar.

Everyone has their own dream job. Someone wants to be a doctor, someone wants to be a police officer. Frankly, I wanted to have every job. Because, they are all cool jobs. But I decided to be an astronaut. Because I interested in the universe from childhood. And, I watched Stephen Hawking’s lecture about the universe. That's I the princeps rea son of my dream and what made me decide to become an astronaut even more. My role model is Elon Musk. Of course, he has a dark side like bitcoin or stock. However, I want to follow his challenge sprit. Because he always pursues to be defiant and he achieves a lot through those defiant attempts. For my dream job, I am studying English and Science hard. And I always study with my motto in my mind. It is “Your attitude will determine your altitude”. So I want to participate diligently Everywhere and all the time.

please check it ASAP

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Paul, 
It's important to have a dream job because it enables you to feel good about giving to your job knowing that you are making a difference in some way and your unique talents and gifts are being used to bring about change to something that is important to you. You wake up every day excited about going to work instead of dreading it. Study hard and achieve your dreams in life. ~ Teacher QUENNY:)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My school homework is 'writing'. Please check my writing and correct the grammar.
>> My school homework is 'writing'. Please check my writing and correct the grammar. (CORRECT)
Everyone has their own dream job.
>> Everyone has their own dream job. (Correct)
 Someone wants to be a doctor, someone wants to be a police officer. 
>>  Someone wants to be a doctor, someone wants to be a police officer. 
Frankly, I wanted to have every job. Because, they are all cool jobs. 
>> Frankly, I wanted to have every job because they are all cool jobs.
But I decided to be an astronaut. Because I interested in the universe from childhood. 
>> But I decided to be an astronaut because I interested in the universe since childhood. 
And, I watched Stephen Hawking’s lecture about the universe. 
>> And, I watched Stephen Hawking’s lecture about the universe. (Correct)
That's I the princeps rea son of my dream and what made me decide to become an astronaut even more. 
>> That's the principal reason for my dream and what made me decide to become an astronaut even more. 
My role model is Elon Musk. 
>> My role model is Elon Musk. (Correct)
Of course, he has a dark side like bitcoin or stock. 
>> Of course, he has a dark side like bitcoin or stock. (Correct)
However, I want to follow his challenge sprit. Because he always pursues to be defiant and he achieves a lot through those defiant attempts.
>>However, I want to follow his challenge spirit because he always pursues to be defiant and he achieves a lot through those defiant attempts.
For my dream job, I am studying English and Science hard. 
>> To achieve my dream job, I am studying English and Science hard. 
And I always study with my motto in my mind. 
>> And I always study and stick to the motto in my mind. 
It is “Your attitude will determine your altitude”. 
>>It is “Your attitude will determine your altitude”. (Correct)
So I want to participate diligently Everywhere and all the time.
>> So I want to participate diligently everywhere and all the time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everyone has their own dream job. Someone wants to be a doctor, someone wants to be a police officer.  Frankly, I wanted to have every job because they are all cool jobs. But I decided to be an astronaut because I interested in the universe since childhood. And, I watched Stephen Hawking’s lecture about the universe.  That's the principal reason for my dream and what made me decide to become an astronaut even more. My role model is Elon Musk. Of course, he has a dark side like bitcoin or stock.  However, I want to follow his challenge spirit because he always pursues to be defiant and he achieves a lot through those defiant attempts. To achieve my dream job, I am studying English and Science hard. And I always study and stick to the motto in my mind. It is “Your attitude will determine your altitude”. So I want to participate diligently everywhere and all the time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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