¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who do you think is the greatest inventor of all time? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-11-23 1679

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the greatest inventor of all time is John William Mauchly.
He invented a very useful tool in our lives, it is a computer.
He invented a computer with Presper Eckert Jr. and nowadays, we are using computers.
It can save a lot of data with 1 and 0.
And we can search many kinds of data in the Internet by using a computer.
So in my opinion, the greatest inventor of all time is John William Mauchly and Presper Eckert Jr.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That is indeed true. Computers play a vital role in our lives. A lot of things depend on it so we really have to thank these inventors you have mentioned. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, the greatest inventor of all time is John William Mauchly.
>> CORRECT

He invented a very useful tool in our lives, it is a computer.
>>He invented a very useful device for us which is a computer. 
 
He invented a computer with Presper Eckert Jr. and nowadays, we are using computers.
>> He invented it with Presper Eckert Jr. and until now, we are using it.

It can save a lot of data with 1 and 0.
>> CORRECT

And we can search many kinds of data in the Internet by using a computer.
>> We can search a lot of data through the internet using it. 

So in my opinion, the greatest inventor of all time is John William Mauchly and Presper Eckert Jr.
>> So in my opinion, the greatest inventors of all time are John William Mauchly and Presper Eckert Jr.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115726 Nowadays, a lot of offices employ open-space designs instead of... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 630
115725 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 445
115724 Do you think that having a lot of money can make you happy? Why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 794
115723 Do you think that having a lot of money can make you happy? Why... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 0
115722 In many cultures, women cook more often than men. Why is this? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 605
115721 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 422
115720 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 463
115719 What does a holiday mean to you? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 639
115718 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 1
115717 Homework. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 0
115716 Can goals help to change your life? How? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 472
115715 you can¡¯t buy happiness\". If you were richer, do you think you... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 437
115714 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 1
115713 Homework (1/18) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 2
115712 What do you think are the characteristics of a good leader? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 363
115711 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 750
115710 More young Koreans hire housekeepers À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 0
115709 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 1
115708 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 519
115707 write about the next endangered anmal À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04