¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who do you think is the greatest inventor of all time? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-11-23 1386

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the greatest inventor of all time is John William Mauchly.
He invented a very useful tool in our lives, it is a computer.
He invented a computer with Presper Eckert Jr. and nowadays, we are using computers.
It can save a lot of data with 1 and 0.
And we can search many kinds of data in the Internet by using a computer.
So in my opinion, the greatest inventor of all time is John William Mauchly and Presper Eckert Jr.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That is indeed true. Computers play a vital role in our lives. A lot of things depend on it so we really have to thank these inventors you have mentioned. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, the greatest inventor of all time is John William Mauchly.
>> CORRECT

He invented a very useful tool in our lives, it is a computer.
>>He invented a very useful device for us which is a computer. 
 
He invented a computer with Presper Eckert Jr. and nowadays, we are using computers.
>> He invented it with Presper Eckert Jr. and until now, we are using it.

It can save a lot of data with 1 and 0.
>> CORRECT

And we can search many kinds of data in the Internet by using a computer.
>> We can search a lot of data through the internet using it. 

So in my opinion, the greatest inventor of all time is John William Mauchly and Presper Eckert Jr.
>> So in my opinion, the greatest inventors of all time are John William Mauchly and Presper Eckert Jr.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113969 Grandparents ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 201
113968 What will you do if you are in a desert? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 2
113967 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 0
113966 Should parents help their children plan their future? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 184
113965 self introduction, reason of application È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 177
113964 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 744
113963 Seoul hospitals overwhelmed, but Korea committed to staying open À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113962 Why do you think BTS captures the hearts of billions of people? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113961 What makes you afraid? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1281
113960 1118 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 2
113959 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 0
113958 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 0
113957 cold war À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113956 What are the common crimes committed in South Korea and how do... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 592
113955 Should parents ignore their kid\'s mistakes? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113954 How do you stay motivated in studies? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 0
113953 11.17 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 1
113952 Both countries can\'t be friends ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 590
113951 How would you act when you are in a job interview? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 0
113950 Waiting ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 559

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04