¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who do you think is the greatest inventor of all time? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-11-23 1596

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the greatest inventor of all time is John William Mauchly.
He invented a very useful tool in our lives, it is a computer.
He invented a computer with Presper Eckert Jr. and nowadays, we are using computers.
It can save a lot of data with 1 and 0.
And we can search many kinds of data in the Internet by using a computer.
So in my opinion, the greatest inventor of all time is John William Mauchly and Presper Eckert Jr.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That is indeed true. Computers play a vital role in our lives. A lot of things depend on it so we really have to thank these inventors you have mentioned. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, the greatest inventor of all time is John William Mauchly.
>> CORRECT

He invented a very useful tool in our lives, it is a computer.
>>He invented a very useful device for us which is a computer. 
 
He invented a computer with Presper Eckert Jr. and nowadays, we are using computers.
>> He invented it with Presper Eckert Jr. and until now, we are using it.

It can save a lot of data with 1 and 0.
>> CORRECT

And we can search many kinds of data in the Internet by using a computer.
>> We can search a lot of data through the internet using it. 

So in my opinion, the greatest inventor of all time is John William Mauchly and Presper Eckert Jr.
>> So in my opinion, the greatest inventors of all time are John William Mauchly and Presper Eckert Jr.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113634 What are you most afraid of? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 472
113633 My husband job ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 3
113632 For Jisun Oral Test 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 345
113631 For Jisun Oral Test 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 379
113630 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 429
113629 Tell us about a memorable, enjoyable, or strange dream you\'ve... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 330
113628 Affect bad effect to penguins ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 398
113627 Tell Me About a Time You Demonstrated Leadership Skills. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 389
113626 Have you ever been on a team where someone was not pulling their... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 474
113625 How do you handle working with people who annoy you? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 404
113624 What is your greatest failure, and what did you learn from it? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 330
113623 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 369
113622 Are you a friendly person? Answer in a few sentences ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 309
113621 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 655
113620 Daniel\'s first draft (Name :We could do with giving each... ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 620
113619 Language ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 411
113618 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 357
113617 Why do you think people in Korea do not want to marry nowadays? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 2
113616 What role do you want to play when you get married and have a... ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 2
113615 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 401

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04