¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people say that \"money makes the world go around.\" Do you agree? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼±*
2021-11-24 283

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are two sides to Money; bad and good effects. To live a life, money is a must, and also money can be a monster. To gain social services and goods for life, we use money as means. It means we cannot get anything without money. When we buy and sell using money as means, we struggle to get money. It leads to making social nets, makes the world go around. For example, farmers produce crops and then sell them to buy the TV. Technicians make TV to buy products and retailers sell them to save money at the bank for the future. Likewise, social activities are interconnected, and money is like oil to circulate the net. In contrast, when we share the money equally, we are satisfied with our possession, but we are allowed to have more, we try to have as many as possible. In this case, money is changed into a monster because we forget for a moment that humans value over money. That¡¯s why we need to be wise and altruistic in terms of money.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Miss Jung!
WOW! I'm pretty amazed by this thought. You are indeed right!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and answering the question.
====================================================
There are two sides to Money; bad and good effects. 
>> Correct! 
To live a life, money is a must, and also money can be a monster. 
>> Correct! 
To gain social services and goods for life, we use money as means. 
>> Correct! 
It means we cannot get anything without money. 
>> Correct! 
When we buy and sell using money as means, we struggle to get money. 
>> Correct! 
It leads to making social nets, makes the world go around.
>> Correct!  
For example, farmers produce crops and then sell them to buy the TV. 
>> Correct! 
Technicians make TV to buy products and retailers sell them to save money at the bank for the future.
>> Correct! 
Likewise, social activities are interconnected, and money is like oil to circulate the net. 
>> Correct! 
In contrast, when we share the money equally, we are satisfied with our possession, but we are allowed to have more, we try to have as many as possible. 
>> Correct! 
In this case, money is changed into a monster because we forget for a moment that humans value over money. 
>> Correct! 
That¡¯s why we need to be wise and altruistic in terms of money.
>> Correct! 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113883 Interview ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 308
113882 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 342
113881 Should art works need to be auctioned or displayed in the... ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 3
113880 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 425
113879 Do you think religion is important? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113878 Homework ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 294
113877 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113876 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113875 Homework {11/15} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 252
113874 Kindly explain your family in your own words. Make at least 6 or... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 288
113873 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 255
113872 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 2
113871 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 261
113870 Black sheep ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 346
113869 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 293
113868 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 301
113867 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 578
113866 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 276
113865 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 597
113864 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04