¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you had money to spare, what would you buy or invest in? Explain why.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-11-24 402

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I have money to spare, I want to invest in South Korea science.
Of course many people are investing to a lot of kinds of science parts.
But most people are investing in the science parts about industry.
They think investing to a pure science is dangerous because we don't know that it will make a benefit to us or a damage.
But I think a pure science has to be developed for our future, so I wnat to invest in South Korea pure science.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

Wow, that's very critical of you to think of. Your answer is very reasonable. Your country would benefit a lot from you if so. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I have money to spare, I want to invest in South Korea science.
>>If I have money to spare, I want to invest in South Korea's modern science.

Of course many people are investing to a lot of kinds of science parts.
>>  Of course a lot of people are already investing on it. 

But most people are investing in the science parts about industry.
>> But most of them are only investing the industry part of Science. 

They think investing to a pure science is dangerous because we don't know that it will make a benefit to us or a damage.
>> They think that investing on pure Science is dangerous because there is no assurance whether is it going to be a success or not. 

But I think a pure science has to be developed for our future, so I wnat to invest in South Korea pure science.
>>But I think a pure science has to be developed for our future that's why I want to invest on it. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115211 What do you usually wish for during your birthday? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 395
115210 What makes an advertisement memorable? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 0
115209 Do you think overpopulation is an important environmental issue? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1
115208 What are you looking forward to the most this new year? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 2
115207 What are the beautiful places that you have visited in Korea? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 397
115206 What kind of cause or charity organizations are you particularly... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 564
115205 homework ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 2
115204 Are you willing to work overtime? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 446
115203 What is your lifelong dream? why? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 2
115202 What are your New Year\'s resolutions. ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1178
115201 What are you looking forward to the most this new year? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1669
115200 my introduce ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 4
115199 About Han river park ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 428
115198 What can you get from listening to the radio? Àü*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 469
115197 Who is your favorite cartoon character? Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 469
115196 What new thing would you like to try this year? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 466
115195 I received my christmas present!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 316
115194 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 660
115193 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115192 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 397

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04