¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you had money to spare, what would you buy or invest in? Explain why.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-11-24 291

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I have money to spare, I want to invest in South Korea science.
Of course many people are investing to a lot of kinds of science parts.
But most people are investing in the science parts about industry.
They think investing to a pure science is dangerous because we don't know that it will make a benefit to us or a damage.
But I think a pure science has to be developed for our future, so I wnat to invest in South Korea pure science.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

Wow, that's very critical of you to think of. Your answer is very reasonable. Your country would benefit a lot from you if so. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I have money to spare, I want to invest in South Korea science.
>>If I have money to spare, I want to invest in South Korea's modern science.

Of course many people are investing to a lot of kinds of science parts.
>>  Of course a lot of people are already investing on it. 

But most people are investing in the science parts about industry.
>> But most of them are only investing the industry part of Science. 

They think investing to a pure science is dangerous because we don't know that it will make a benefit to us or a damage.
>> They think that investing on pure Science is dangerous because there is no assurance whether is it going to be a success or not. 

But I think a pure science has to be developed for our future, so I wnat to invest in South Korea pure science.
>>But I think a pure science has to be developed for our future that's why I want to invest on it. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113703 Homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 5
113702 Physical feature ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 1
113701 What part of your Korean history is your favorite? Explain why. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 274
113700 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 1
113699 Lunar new years day ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 2
113698 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 314
113697 If you were a dinosaur, which one would you be? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 4
113696 Do you like riding boats? Why or why not? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 0
113695 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 1
113694 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 1
113693 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 295
113692 Writing ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 437
113691 Punctuality ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 425
113690 How much South Korea diversify its economy nowadays? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 274
113689 How is our accent affected by our birthplace? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 423
113688 What\'s the most difficult part of learning English? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 303
113687 What would you do if you see a metal screw on your food as well? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 265
113686 Pastor Report 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 273
113685 Pastor Report 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 421
113684 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04