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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Christmas Invitation Letter

작성자: 류*선
2021-11-27 523

회원님의 영작문

Once again, we are coming to the special day of the year that we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Matthew 2:9-10 reminds us of the birth of Christ. The star didn’t stop in a big city but a small town in Bethlehem. And the baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger. Our Savior was not born in a palace or luxurious hotel. It was not an extraordinary place, but an ordinary one. It means our Savior is accessible, approachable, and available. No ring of security guards prevents or gates bar way to Him! He came for every one of us to be our friend and Savior. The season of Advent is all about Emmanuel – God with us! Henderson United Methodist Church is a faith community where you and I could meet our savior, Christ in the communal journey of faith. Along the journey, We invite you to join us for the following special Christmas services and events that will touch our hearts with joy and peace. Invite your loved ones, friends, and neighbors to join us. Emmanuel!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for waiting, Han! This sounds really interesting! This celebration should be grand because it is for Christ!-Faith-

Once again, we are coming to the special day of the year that we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

>> CORRECT

OR We are in this special season once again, a season of love, of great tidings and a season when we commemorate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Matthew 2:9-10 reminds us of the birth of Christ. 

>> CORRECT

OR Matthew 2:9-10 reminds us the nativity of Christ. 

The star didn’t stop in a big city but a small town in Bethlehem. 

>> The star didn’t stop in a big city but in a small town of Bethlehem. 

And the baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger. 

>>  And the baby was wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger. 

OR And the baby was wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. 

Our Savior was not born in a palace or luxurious hotel. 

>> Our meek Savior was not born in a palace or luxurious hotel. 

It was not an extraordinary place, but an ordinary one. 

>> CORRECT

OR It was not a grandiose place, but a lowly one. 

It means our Savior is accessible, approachable, and available. 

>> It means our Savior is always accessible, approachable, and available. 

No ring of security guards prevents or gates bar way to Him!  

>> No one or nothing can hinder our way to reach Him! 

He came for every one of us to be our friend and Savior.

>> CORRECT

OR Jesus became flesh for every one of us, to be our friend and Savior. 

The season of Advent is all about Emmanuel – God with us! 

>> The season of Advent is all about Emmanuel; God with us! 

Henderson United Methodist Church is a faith community where you and I could meet our savior, Christ in the communal journey of faith. 

>> Henderson United Methodist Church is a faith community where you and I could meet our Savior Christ in the communal journey of faith. 

Along the journey, We invite you to join us for the following special Christmas services and events that will touch our hearts with joy and peace. 

>> Along the journey, we joyfully invite you to join us for the following special Christmas services and events that will touch our hearts with joy and peace. 

Invite your loved ones, friends, and neighbors to join us. 

>> CORRECT

OR We would also love to see and warmly welcome your loved ones, friends and neighbors to come together to celebrate with us.

Emmanuel!

>> CORRECT

 

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01
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
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04

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