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If you see a homeless person on the street asking for money, what is the first thing you think about

작성자: 선*
2021-11-27 496

회원님의 영작문

If I see a homeless person on the street asking for money, I feel sorry for the person, but I would not try to give him or her money on the spot. We keep asking and begging homeless people to go to the shelter for homeless people. The shelter gives them clothes, food, and places for staying, and they make an effort to return to normalcy. They have to join learning skills to get jobs and make themselves clean and tidy at all times. They can have time preparing themselves before going back to normal life with the help of government organizations. According to the officers of the organizations, most homeless people ran away from the shelter to go back to the street. That’s why people consider them lazy and crazy and people don’t take pity on them too much. Whenever they get money, they buy alcohol and end up drunken, sleeping on the street, or fighting with anybody. Gaining money can ruin homeless people and take away the mind to go to a shelter.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

HI Jung, thank you for your this. Have a great day!
Jasmin 


If I see a homeless person on the street asking for money, I feel sorry for the person, but I would not try to give him or her money on the spot. 
>>If I see a homeless person on the street asking for money, I will feel sorry for that person but that doesn't mean that I would give them some money. 
We keep asking and begging homeless people to go to the shelter for homeless people. 
>>I will ask them to go to a shelter that the government provided them. 
The shelter gives them clothes, food, and places for staying, and they make an effort to return to normalcy. 
>>The shelter will give them clothes, foods, and a place to stay. It will help them to live a normal life. 
They have to join learning skills to get jobs and make themselves clean and tidy at all times. 
>>They can learn skills to get jobs and it will teach them to be neat and presentable. 
They can have time preparing themselves before going back to normal life with the help of government organizations.
>>They can have an opportunity to return to their normal lives with the help of some government organizations. 
 According to the officers of the organizations, most homeless people ran away from the shelter to go back to the street. 
>>According to the officers of those organizations, most homeless people ran away from the shelter to live on the street. 
That’s why people consider them lazy and crazy and people don’t take pity on them too much. 
>>That's why people don't pity them because they thought of them as crazy and lazy. 
Whenever they get money, they buy alcohol and end up drunken, sleeping on the street, or fighting with anybody. 
>>They immediately buy alcohol and end up too drunk in the middle of the street, trying to cause trouble if they get money. 
Gaining money can ruin homeless people and take away the mind to go to a shelter.
>>They are tempted to leave the shelter because they can earn money buy begging people. 
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