¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

hi, teacher.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*Çö
2021-11-28 332

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



do you agree or disagree with the following statement?As people get older, their personalities change. Use details and example to explain your answer.answer:I agree that people get older, their personalities change..First of all,people are getting order, their environmenthas become different with youger age's environment. If someone who is a student, she is just study well, and meet very friendly people.But, someone who has worked very hard get stressed out with someone's boss. Every day, someone doesn't like colleagues and boss, she or he might have bad personality like me. To be more specific, if they were students,they are just with their friends very friendly, but they have another way, they will change their mind or some way of thinking. Second, they have different situation.For example, she became mother, and she has two dauthers. So, she never uses bad words and good thinking with children.Although she was not a good thinker, and sound.For these two reasons, I totally agree wi

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon! 

Please take note of the corrections/ suggestions below: 

Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? As people get older, their personalities change. Use details and example to explain your answer.

Your Answer: I agree that people get older, their personalities change.. First of all,people are getting order, their environmenthas become different with youger age's environment. If someone who is a student, she is just study well, and meet very friendly people.But, someone who has worked very hard get stressed out with someone's boss. Every day, someone doesn't like colleagues and boss, she or he might have bad personality like me. To be more specific, if they were students,they are just with their friends very friendly, but they have another way, they will change their mind or some way of thinking. Second, they have different situation.For example, she became mother, and she has two dauthers. So, she never uses bad words and good thinking with children.Although she was not a good thinker, and sound.For these two reasons, I totally agree wi

>> I agree that as people get older, their personalities change. First of all, when people become older, their environment becomes different with that of a younger person's environment. If someone is a student, she is preoccupied with studying and meeting new people, but for someone who is already working, they sometimes feel stressed out with their bosses. It is challenging to like colleagues and bosses with different personality with mine. Each person has his/her own specific situation. 

----

I love the ideas that you shared in your answer. Just improve how you organize your thoughts into sentences to express your ideas fully. :) 

Have a great day ahead! :) 

~T. Miya^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113397 Do you agree that money makes the world go around? ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 486
113396 Homework📝 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 680
113395 what korean do in winter season and what happens. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 456
113394 good things about korea ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 460
113393 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 344
113392 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 353
113391 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 1
113390 Music ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 897
113389 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 639
113388 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 559
113387 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 606
113386 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 374
113385 homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 316
113384 What natural disaster do you fear the most? and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 621
113383 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 5
113382 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 299
113381 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 350
113380 homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 0
113379 Mermaids ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 598
113378 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 322

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04