¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

hi, teacher.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*Çö
2021-11-28 345

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



do you agree or disagree with the following statement?As people get older, their personalities change. Use details and example to explain your answer.answer:I agree that people get older, their personalities change..First of all,people are getting order, their environmenthas become different with youger age's environment. If someone who is a student, she is just study well, and meet very friendly people.But, someone who has worked very hard get stressed out with someone's boss. Every day, someone doesn't like colleagues and boss, she or he might have bad personality like me. To be more specific, if they were students,they are just with their friends very friendly, but they have another way, they will change their mind or some way of thinking. Second, they have different situation.For example, she became mother, and she has two dauthers. So, she never uses bad words and good thinking with children.Although she was not a good thinker, and sound.For these two reasons, I totally agree wi

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon! 

Please take note of the corrections/ suggestions below: 

Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? As people get older, their personalities change. Use details and example to explain your answer.

Your Answer: I agree that people get older, their personalities change.. First of all,people are getting order, their environmenthas become different with youger age's environment. If someone who is a student, she is just study well, and meet very friendly people.But, someone who has worked very hard get stressed out with someone's boss. Every day, someone doesn't like colleagues and boss, she or he might have bad personality like me. To be more specific, if they were students,they are just with their friends very friendly, but they have another way, they will change their mind or some way of thinking. Second, they have different situation.For example, she became mother, and she has two dauthers. So, she never uses bad words and good thinking with children.Although she was not a good thinker, and sound.For these two reasons, I totally agree wi

>> I agree that as people get older, their personalities change. First of all, when people become older, their environment becomes different with that of a younger person's environment. If someone is a student, she is preoccupied with studying and meeting new people, but for someone who is already working, they sometimes feel stressed out with their bosses. It is challenging to like colleagues and bosses with different personality with mine. Each person has his/her own specific situation. 

----

I love the ideas that you shared in your answer. Just improve how you organize your thoughts into sentences to express your ideas fully. :) 

Have a great day ahead! :) 

~T. Miya^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113214 Most proud culture in Korea ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 979
113213 Which is longer, a snake or a worm? Àü*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 380
113212 What is the hardest problem you have ever faced in your life? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 567
113211 10.22 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0
113210 Where do you always get information? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0
113209 How can you stay healthy? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0
113208 What jobs would be more promising in the future? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 463
113207 Do you think you are a good team player? Why do you say so? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 420
113206 How do you enjoy your hobby with minimal spending? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 1
113205 How do brain teasers affect the brain? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 2
113204 How do you feel about customer complaints? Do you think you are... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 390
113203 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 364
113202 Strong Power of Body Language Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 459
113201 How often would you say you get a good night\'s sleep? ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 450
113200 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 442
113199 Writing Task: Elections aren\'t the only way to change the... ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 2
113198 Do you think a high English language proficiency level is needed? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 570
113197 Should the fashion industry use models that look more like... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 1128
113196 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-24 1
113195 Hang out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04