¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

hi, teacher.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*Çö
2021-11-28 401

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



do you agree or disagree with the following statement?As people get older, their personalities change. Use details and example to explain your answer.answer:I agree that people get older, their personalities change..First of all,people are getting order, their environmenthas become different with youger age's environment. If someone who is a student, she is just study well, and meet very friendly people.But, someone who has worked very hard get stressed out with someone's boss. Every day, someone doesn't like colleagues and boss, she or he might have bad personality like me. To be more specific, if they were students,they are just with their friends very friendly, but they have another way, they will change their mind or some way of thinking. Second, they have different situation.For example, she became mother, and she has two dauthers. So, she never uses bad words and good thinking with children.Although she was not a good thinker, and sound.For these two reasons, I totally agree wi

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon! 

Please take note of the corrections/ suggestions below: 

Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? As people get older, their personalities change. Use details and example to explain your answer.

Your Answer: I agree that people get older, their personalities change.. First of all,people are getting order, their environmenthas become different with youger age's environment. If someone who is a student, she is just study well, and meet very friendly people.But, someone who has worked very hard get stressed out with someone's boss. Every day, someone doesn't like colleagues and boss, she or he might have bad personality like me. To be more specific, if they were students,they are just with their friends very friendly, but they have another way, they will change their mind or some way of thinking. Second, they have different situation.For example, she became mother, and she has two dauthers. So, she never uses bad words and good thinking with children.Although she was not a good thinker, and sound.For these two reasons, I totally agree wi

>> I agree that as people get older, their personalities change. First of all, when people become older, their environment becomes different with that of a younger person's environment. If someone is a student, she is preoccupied with studying and meeting new people, but for someone who is already working, they sometimes feel stressed out with their bosses. It is challenging to like colleagues and bosses with different personality with mine. Each person has his/her own specific situation. 

----

I love the ideas that you shared in your answer. Just improve how you organize your thoughts into sentences to express your ideas fully. :) 

Have a great day ahead! :) 

~T. Miya^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112981 Do you like eating out in a restaurant? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 515
112980 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 785
112979 How do you see yourself 5 years from now? Share your thoughts in... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 655
112978 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 923
112977 I want to change this in Korean culture. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 523
112976 What is your favorite room in your house? Why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 1
112975 Dinosaurs ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 528
112974 Have you ever been in a difficult situation while traveling? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 0
112973 how to help friends ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 491
112972 What was your dream job? Why did you like it? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 544
112971 Do you think people who have cosmetic surgery are always happy... Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 505
112970 What is the hardest part about parenting ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 513
112969 If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 511
112968 If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what... ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 675
112967 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 1
112966 homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 593
112965 wealth ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 2222
112964 Why is English fluency significant for you? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 495
112963 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 16
112962 Homework day2 Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04