¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change one of your personalities, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-11-30 1217

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Actually, I don't want to change my personalities.
Before, I thought that some of my personalities are bad so I have to change them.
But now, I think I fixed some of them, and I think that my personalities are great so I don't need to change them.
I made a lot of friends because of my personalities, so I don't need to change my personalities.
What I have to do is keep my personalities and love my self.
Also I think the attitude that loving our personalities is very important in our lives.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John :) 

That's true. Our personality defines who we are so we have to accept it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

Actually, I don't want to change my personalities.
>> CORRECT

Before, I thought that some of my personalities are bad so I have to change them.
>> CORRECT

But now, I think I fixed some of them, and I think that my personalities are great so I don't need to change them.
>> CORRECT

I made a lot of friends because of my personalities, so I don't need to change my personalities.
>> I made a lot of friends because of my personalities so I don't need to change them. 

What I have to do is keep my personalities and love my self.
>>  CORRECT

Also I think the attitude that loving our personalities is very important in our lives.
>> I also think that loving our personalities is very important in our lives. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116794 Cell-phone is successful result of technology ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 0
116793 \"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man how... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 677
116792 what do you usually do with your family? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 844
116791 How does cheating affect our educational system? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2
116790 How can the government assist in promoting being a vegetarian? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 4
116789 What is a \"bucket list\"? What are 5 things on your bucket list? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1209
116788 homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1112
116787 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1390
116786 Could you compare yourself to a thing? What is it? and Why? ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1218
116785 If you could give advice to Korea\'s next president, what would... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1584
116784 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1347
116783 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 796
116782 What do you think is the best company to work at in your country... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1226
116781 Are instant noodles unhealthy? Why? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 4
116780 The weekend of the third. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2
116779 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1022
116778 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2
116777 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 655
116776 ESSAY Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 959
116775 Swimming routine ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04