¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change one of your personalities, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-11-30 1054

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Actually, I don't want to change my personalities.
Before, I thought that some of my personalities are bad so I have to change them.
But now, I think I fixed some of them, and I think that my personalities are great so I don't need to change them.
I made a lot of friends because of my personalities, so I don't need to change my personalities.
What I have to do is keep my personalities and love my self.
Also I think the attitude that loving our personalities is very important in our lives.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John :) 

That's true. Our personality defines who we are so we have to accept it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

Actually, I don't want to change my personalities.
>> CORRECT

Before, I thought that some of my personalities are bad so I have to change them.
>> CORRECT

But now, I think I fixed some of them, and I think that my personalities are great so I don't need to change them.
>> CORRECT

I made a lot of friends because of my personalities, so I don't need to change my personalities.
>> I made a lot of friends because of my personalities so I don't need to change them. 

What I have to do is keep my personalities and love my self.
>>  CORRECT

Also I think the attitude that loving our personalities is very important in our lives.
>> I also think that loving our personalities is very important in our lives. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115323 Writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 0
115322 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 388
115321 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 604
115320 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 3
115319 A bouquet of flowers ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 2
115318 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1154
115317 If you can invent something, what would it be? °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 2
115316 What is your favorite Korean traditional game? Explain how this... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 279
115315 ESSAY: Some people think products should be designed to last for... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 568
115314 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 253
115313 The value of friendship Á¶*¿Ï ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 541
115312 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 0
115311 What genre of book do you enjoy most? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 471
115310 Homework (1/5) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 2
115309 Where do you want to visit this year? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 0
115308 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 653
115307 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 750
115306 Greetings can be expressed verbally and physically. How can... Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 4
115305 What\'s new with you since you moved to Canada? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 442
115304 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04