¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Walking with family is the most important, and best out door activity

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-11-30 441

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, walking with my family is the most important, and best outdoor activity. I will cite two reasons why it is.
First, we can be more friendly and solving the problem by talking with family. Walking is one of the best way to do this. We can talk with our families when we are talking.
Second, we can exercise, too. Running is more effective to exercise, but exercising with family can be very good experience. We can make it to memories. After we can't see our parents or families, it would be good memories.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel!  Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question.  The overall content of your work is comprehensible. Keep it up! 

- Teacher Debbie


In my opinion, walking with my family is the most important, and best outdoor activity.
>> In my opinion, walking with my family is the most important and best outdoor activity.

 I will cite two reasons why it is.
>>  I will cite two reasons.

First, we can be more friendly and solving the problem by talking with family.
>> First, I can be closer and solve more problems by talking with my family.

Walking is one of the best way to do this.
>> Walking is one of the best ways to do this.

 We can talk with our families when we are talking.
>>  We can talk with our families while we are walking.

Second, we can exercise, too.
>> This is a good sentence.

Running is more effective to exercise, but exercising with family can be very good experience. 
>>  Running is more effective than walking, but exercising with my family can be a very good experience. 

We can make it to memories.
>> It can be memorable.

 After we can't see our parents or families, it would be good memories.
>> It can make us remember our parents and other family members when they're gone.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118175 What\'s the weirdest diet you have heard about? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 823
118174 Have you eaten any strange foods? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118173 What makes me exhausted ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 868
118172 What are the possible benefits of working on weekends? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 812
118171 2022.4.11 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 709
118170 Where do you prefer spending your money: clothes, kitchen stuff... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 1
118169 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118168 What is your dream vacation? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118167 What city do you think is the best in South Korea? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 483
118166 Homework ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 715
118165 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 733
118164 4/11 homework (¡Ü\'◡\'¡Ü) ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 828
118163 Describe the famous cathedral in my country. ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 647
118162 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 0
118161 Do you like reading the articles on the sports page? / What... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 782
118160 What do you think is the most dangerous natural disaster? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 767
118159 The train is really punctual. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 701
118158 I want to be a common person ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 2
118157 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 3
118156 What is the best activity to do while camping? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 676

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04