¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Walking with family is the most important, and best out door activity

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-11-30 301

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, walking with my family is the most important, and best outdoor activity. I will cite two reasons why it is.
First, we can be more friendly and solving the problem by talking with family. Walking is one of the best way to do this. We can talk with our families when we are talking.
Second, we can exercise, too. Running is more effective to exercise, but exercising with family can be very good experience. We can make it to memories. After we can't see our parents or families, it would be good memories.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel!  Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question.  The overall content of your work is comprehensible. Keep it up! 

- Teacher Debbie


In my opinion, walking with my family is the most important, and best outdoor activity.
>> In my opinion, walking with my family is the most important and best outdoor activity.

 I will cite two reasons why it is.
>>  I will cite two reasons.

First, we can be more friendly and solving the problem by talking with family.
>> First, I can be closer and solve more problems by talking with my family.

Walking is one of the best way to do this.
>> Walking is one of the best ways to do this.

 We can talk with our families when we are talking.
>>  We can talk with our families while we are walking.

Second, we can exercise, too.
>> This is a good sentence.

Running is more effective to exercise, but exercising with family can be very good experience. 
>>  Running is more effective than walking, but exercising with my family can be a very good experience. 

We can make it to memories.
>> It can be memorable.

 After we can't see our parents or families, it would be good memories.
>> It can make us remember our parents and other family members when they're gone.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117559 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1
117558 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1064
117557 If you can learn another language, what would it be and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 0
117556 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 779
117555 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1
117554 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 782
117553 My grandchild ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 0
117552 For you, what language is difficult to learn? Why? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1425
117551 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 817
117550 About captive animals. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 785
117549 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 852
117548 English ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 997
117547 What is the worst experience you¡¯ve had on public... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1236
117546 Writing Task(Mar 17th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1207
117545 Writing Task(Mar 16th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1181
117544 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 2
117543 Writing Task(Mar 18th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1118
117542 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 3
117541 I want to be seated in a non-smoking area. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 760
117540 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1150

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04