¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Walking with family is the most important, and best out door activity

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-11-30 221

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, walking with my family is the most important, and best outdoor activity. I will cite two reasons why it is.
First, we can be more friendly and solving the problem by talking with family. Walking is one of the best way to do this. We can talk with our families when we are talking.
Second, we can exercise, too. Running is more effective to exercise, but exercising with family can be very good experience. We can make it to memories. After we can't see our parents or families, it would be good memories.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel!  Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question.  The overall content of your work is comprehensible. Keep it up! 

- Teacher Debbie


In my opinion, walking with my family is the most important, and best outdoor activity.
>> In my opinion, walking with my family is the most important and best outdoor activity.

 I will cite two reasons why it is.
>>  I will cite two reasons.

First, we can be more friendly and solving the problem by talking with family.
>> First, I can be closer and solve more problems by talking with my family.

Walking is one of the best way to do this.
>> Walking is one of the best ways to do this.

 We can talk with our families when we are talking.
>>  We can talk with our families while we are walking.

Second, we can exercise, too.
>> This is a good sentence.

Running is more effective to exercise, but exercising with family can be very good experience. 
>>  Running is more effective than walking, but exercising with my family can be a very good experience. 

We can make it to memories.
>> It can be memorable.

 After we can't see our parents or families, it would be good memories.
>> It can make us remember our parents and other family members when they're gone.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116629 Is it good to borrow money? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 0
116628 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 2
116627 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 868
116626 BTS to hit the stage in South Korea for first time since COVID... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 1
116625 plant-based meat ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 695
116624 What do you think is the worst invention ever and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 735
116623 If ever you will have a super power, what would it be? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 1001
116622 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 658
116621 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 600
116620 What are some jobs that you think would be fun? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 765
116619 Name three English movies that you would like to recommend to a... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 831
116618 homework for Feb. 11 Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 737
116617 What do you still need to buy that could help you improve your... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 729
116616 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 0
116615 Make a sentence using the common adjectives that start with J. ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 1337
116614 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 813
116613 Why I think learning English is important. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 714
116612 What I feel when I lose at sport game. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 598
116611 Why I like salty foods more. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 930
116610 Why I like color of my skin ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-20 821

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04