¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Walking with family is the most important, and best out door activity

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-11-30 177

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, walking with my family is the most important, and best outdoor activity. I will cite two reasons why it is.
First, we can be more friendly and solving the problem by talking with family. Walking is one of the best way to do this. We can talk with our families when we are talking.
Second, we can exercise, too. Running is more effective to exercise, but exercising with family can be very good experience. We can make it to memories. After we can't see our parents or families, it would be good memories.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel!  Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question.  The overall content of your work is comprehensible. Keep it up! 

- Teacher Debbie


In my opinion, walking with my family is the most important, and best outdoor activity.
>> In my opinion, walking with my family is the most important and best outdoor activity.

 I will cite two reasons why it is.
>>  I will cite two reasons.

First, we can be more friendly and solving the problem by talking with family.
>> First, I can be closer and solve more problems by talking with my family.

Walking is one of the best way to do this.
>> Walking is one of the best ways to do this.

 We can talk with our families when we are talking.
>>  We can talk with our families while we are walking.

Second, we can exercise, too.
>> This is a good sentence.

Running is more effective to exercise, but exercising with family can be very good experience. 
>>  Running is more effective than walking, but exercising with my family can be a very good experience. 

We can make it to memories.
>> It can be memorable.

 After we can't see our parents or families, it would be good memories.
>> It can make us remember our parents and other family members when they're gone.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115972 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115971 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1109
115970 Do you think that older people are always right? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115969 Is graffiti art? Why or why not? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 573
115968 Which one do you think is better, living alone or with someone?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 990
115967 A stranger ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 2
115966 Which one do you think is better, living alone or with someone?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115965 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 2
115964 hi °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 901
115963 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1062
115962 Do you think it is best to argue or just walk away? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 588
115961 Who is the best and worst president of South Korea? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115960 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 803
115959 Live with someone ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 881
115958 Homework (1/26) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1
115957 What¡¯s the most memorable weekend have you had in the past... ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 3
115956 Would you describe yourself as a workaholic? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1
115955 What do you know about the history of heath care in your country? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115954 homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 562
115953 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04