¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Christmas:)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-12-01 145

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In holiday, my family usually just eat dinner together.
We don't think about it special.
Sometimes, We share to present but it is often not usual.
But christmas is special.
Christmas is...not feels like different some other holiday.
I think because is snow, white christmas is my favorite carol song.
When I was young when the christmas my family together eat the dinner and celebrate just christmas for jesus.
So we went to the church.
But now when we grow up we are so busy, we have so many schedules, we can't together usually.
But we have one heart :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

Wow. That is very heartwarming. That is the true essence of Christmas; being with your loved ones. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

In holiday, my family usually just eat dinner together.
>> During this holiday, I usually eat dinner with my family together. 

We don't think about it special.
>> We don't think that this is a special holiday. 

Sometimes, We share to present but it is often not usual.
>> Sometimes, we share presents to each other but it's not that often. 

But christmas is special.
>> Although, Christmas is special. 

Christmas is...not feels like different some other holiday.
>> But it is not the same as other holidays here in South Korea. 

I think because is snow, white christmas is my favorite carol song
.
>> I think it's because of the snow. White Christmas is my favorite caroling song. 

When I was young when the christmas my family together eat the dinner and celebrate just christmas for jesus.
>> When I was young, me and my family would eat together and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ on Christmas day. 

So we went to the church.
>> So we usually go to church. 

But now when we grow up we are so busy, we have so many schedules, we can't together usually.
>> But now that we are grown ups, we are already very busy and have many schedules so we don't gather that much. 

But we have one heart :)
>> Still, we have one heart. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114770 What¡¯s the best place you¡¯ve ever been to? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 1
114769 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 1
114768 How would be life without art? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 6658
114767 What advice would you give to those foreigners studying... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 232
114766 What might happen if you won\'t use any phones in a day, week,... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 1
114765 What actions are not allowed in your country? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 1
114764 Do you want to learn how to drive? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 1
114763 12.15 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 0
114762 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 900
114761 Advantage and disadvantage of video conferencing application ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 188
114760 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 181
114759 Water is vital to living things ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 201
114758 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 153
114757 Regrets for my life. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 162
114756 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 167
114755 the meaning of my birthday ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 349
114754 Report-3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 405
114753 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 144
114752 Report-2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 261
114751 Report-1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 573

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04