¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Christmas:)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-12-01 260

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In holiday, my family usually just eat dinner together.
We don't think about it special.
Sometimes, We share to present but it is often not usual.
But christmas is special.
Christmas is...not feels like different some other holiday.
I think because is snow, white christmas is my favorite carol song.
When I was young when the christmas my family together eat the dinner and celebrate just christmas for jesus.
So we went to the church.
But now when we grow up we are so busy, we have so many schedules, we can't together usually.
But we have one heart :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

Wow. That is very heartwarming. That is the true essence of Christmas; being with your loved ones. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

In holiday, my family usually just eat dinner together.
>> During this holiday, I usually eat dinner with my family together. 

We don't think about it special.
>> We don't think that this is a special holiday. 

Sometimes, We share to present but it is often not usual.
>> Sometimes, we share presents to each other but it's not that often. 

But christmas is special.
>> Although, Christmas is special. 

Christmas is...not feels like different some other holiday.
>> But it is not the same as other holidays here in South Korea. 

I think because is snow, white christmas is my favorite carol song
.
>> I think it's because of the snow. White Christmas is my favorite caroling song. 

When I was young when the christmas my family together eat the dinner and celebrate just christmas for jesus.
>> When I was young, me and my family would eat together and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ on Christmas day. 

So we went to the church.
>> So we usually go to church. 

But now when we grow up we are so busy, we have so many schedules, we can't together usually.
>> But now that we are grown ups, we are already very busy and have many schedules so we don't gather that much. 

But we have one heart :)
>> Still, we have one heart. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113888 Introduce my family ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 312
113887 I don\'t have any best politicion ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 227
113886 How do you feel when someone borrow money from you? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 1
113885 What are some of the benefits of traveling alone? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113884 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 2
113883 Interview ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 288
113882 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 317
113881 Should art works need to be auctioned or displayed in the... ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 3
113880 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 401
113879 Do you think religion is important? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113878 Homework ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 278
113877 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113876 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113875 Homework {11/15} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 241
113874 Kindly explain your family in your own words. Make at least 6 or... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 273
113873 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 238
113872 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 2
113871 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 241
113870 Black sheep ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 327
113869 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 276

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04