¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The best present for my parents

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çù
2021-12-01 415

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The gift I want to give my parents is actually home. But I think it's too big, and the gift I want to give them now is the premium massage chair.
They must had a hard time raising me and my sister as a child, but I hope i can relieve their burdens with a massage chair.
Massage chairs can be purchased by anyone, but it is not easy to use in apartments because they still damage the downstairs floor due to vibration.
Fortunately, my parents live is a small two-story house, so I think there will be no problem using it and they will like it very much.
In fact, I think my parents will like any gift I give them.
I want to live with my parents because they won't live forever, but I'm always sad because of various situations.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:) 

I think you are a very thoughtful son. That's a terrific gift especially for people their age. Try to spend time with them more if you have the chance and make a lot of memories with them. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

The gift I want to give my parents is actually home. 
>> CORRECT

But I think it's too big, and the gift I want to give them now is the premium massage chair.
>> But I think it's too big for now so I will buy them a premium massage chair instead. 

They must had a hard time raising me and my sister as a child, but I hope i can relieve their burdens with a massage chair.
>> They must have had a hard time raising me and my sister but I hope that I can relieve their burdens by buying them a massage chair. 

Massage chairs can be purchased by anyone, but it is not easy to use in apartments because they still damage the downstairs floor due to vibration.
>>Massage chairs can be purchased by anyone, but it is not easy to use in apartments because they will cause damage to the floors down stairs due to the vibration. 

Fortunately, my parents live is a small two-story house, so I think there will be no problem using it and they will like it very much.
>> CORRECT

In fact, I think my parents will like any gift I give them.
>> CORRECT

I want to live with my parents because they won't live forever, but I'm always sad because of various situations.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113312 To send confidential information À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 462
113311 Describe the first memory you have of going to school. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 0
113310 Journal ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 372
113309 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113308 My son very sick, we go to hospital, sorry fiona see you 2weeks... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 475
113307 Today\'s homework Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113306 Is American English better than any other English? Why? Answer... ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 485
113305 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 793
113304 Would you describe your workplace as formal or casual? ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 3
113303 What is the importance of being part of an organization? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113302 Tell me about your last vacation. ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113301 HOMEWORK: What natural disaster do you fear the most? and why? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 0
113300 My angry case ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 383
113299 What country in Asia would be a great place to live? Why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 2
113298 What is the most difficult thing about learning English? Discuss... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 3
113297 English is confidence ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 364
113296 Korean Winter season ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 454
113295 Are you in favor of opening international flights for tourists... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 4
113294 Experiment is always exinting ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 490
113293 Homework from the lesson 10262021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 501

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04