¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Birth day is my special day.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-12-01 839

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My special day is my birth day. My birth day is like anniversary about me. At that time, I had been always happy because there were people that celebrated my birth. It means they love me. I can depend on people who love me. Then, I feel comfortable just people who love me are exist. However, if the people who celebrate my birth day are not exist, it means there are no people who love me, so I will be very sad. Therefore, I always have to thank for God just that people are exist.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel!  Your homework is well-organized and easy to understand. Good job! However, remember to use pronouns to replace nouns in your sentences.

I am glad that you appreciate the people who love you and that you are thankful for them.

- Teacher Debbie


My special day is my birth day. 
>> My special day is my birthday.

My birth day is like anniversary about me.
>> It is like my anniversary.

 At that time, I had been always happy because there were people that celebrated my birth. 
>> During that time, I am always happy because there are people who celebrate it with me.

It means they love me. 
>> This is a good sentence.

I can depend on people who love me.
>> This is a good sentence.

Then, I feel comfortable just people who love me are exist. 
>> I am thankful that they exist.

However, if the people who celebrate my birth day are not exist, it means there are no people who love me, so I will be very sad. 
>> If they didn't, nobody could love me, and I would be very sad.

Therefore, I always have to thank for God just that people are exist.
>> Therefore, I always have to thank God for them.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114021 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 0
114020 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 340
114019 Garden Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 259
114018 What are the things best talked about over a drink? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 262
114017 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 2
114016 Do you think things will go back to the way they used to before... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 292
114015 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 0
114014 Would you rather sleep or eat when you\'re tired? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 4
114013 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 3
114012 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 306
114011 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 364
114010 King and Queen ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 346
114009 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 391
114008 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1
114007 What do you think of the proverb, \"beauty is in the eye of the... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 0
114006 Sorry Fiona È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 248
114005 Face-to-Face phishing on trise : Police À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1
114004 Some people believe that happiness and emotional maturity are... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 986
114003 Which do you think is the most difficult language? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 362
114002 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 466

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04