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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Jane\'s Oral Presentation 1

작성자: 류*선
2021-12-02 169

회원님의 영작문

1. My parents believe that art and music classes are essential subjects in the school curriculum. Students should be equipped with diverse classes to be better people in society. Also, they should be instilled with the value of beauty through various fields of education. Students have to be taught art and music so that they are able to produce a sense of creativity, new values, motivation, and inspiration when they become adults who are core workers and are involved in society. Thus, schools have to keep art and music classes in the school curriculum.
2. Education in art and music shouldn’t be only for affluent families. All students should be equally able to have access to those subjects from school. If we remove art and music classes at school, parents who can’t afford after-school classes will face the harsh reality and confrontation of their children’s education. Some may say it is an intangible investment for education. But it is deeply tangible in their spirit and soul.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

You have a beautiful topic, Jane! Finally, you are almost done with your English program. I am proud of you!-Faith-
1. My parents believe that art and music classes are essential subjects in the school curriculum. 
>> CORRECT
Students should be equipped with diverse classes to be better people in society. 
>> CORRECT
OR Students should be equipped with diverse subject matters to become responsible citizens in society.
Also, they should be instilled with the value of beauty through various fields of education. 
>> Also, the value of beauty through various fields of education should be instilled in them.
OR In addition, aesthetic appreciation through various fields of education should be instilled in them.
Students have to be taught art and music so that they are able to produce a sense of creativity, new values, motivation, and inspiration when they become adults who are core workers and are involved in society. 
>> Students have to be taught art and music to develop sense of creativity, new values, motivation, and inspiration when they become adults who are core workers and are members of society. 
Thus, schools have to keep art and music classes in the school curriculum.
>> CORRECT
OR These benefits should be enough reasons to retain such classes in the school curriculum.
2. Education in art and music shouldn’t be only for affluent families. 
>> CORRECT
OR Art and music education shouldn't only be the privilege of the upper class.
All students should be equally able to have access to those subjects from school. 
>> All students should be equally capable to access those subjects from school. 
If we remove art and music classes at school, parents who can’t afford after-school classes will face the harsh reality and confrontation of their children’s education. 
>> If we remove them from school, parents who can’t afford after-school classes will face the harsh reality and confrontation of their children’s education. 
Some may say it is an intangible investment for education. 
>> CORRECT
But it is deeply tangible in their spirit and soul.
>> CORRECT
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
113870 Black sheep 민*정 완료 2021-11-15 299
113869 Homework 박*리 완료 2021-11-15 212
113868 Homework 강*선 완료 2021-11-15 178
113867 Homework 박*리 완료 2021-11-15 460
113866 Homework 윤*임 완료 2021-11-15 152
113865 Homework 박*리 완료 2021-11-15 516
113864 e-mail correction 박*광 완료 2021-11-15 3
113863 My teachers 기*현 완료 2021-11-15 170
113862 What did you do last weekend? 김*연 완료 2021-11-15 232
113861 Why do you think couples do not have children in your country... 문*율 완료 2021-11-15 215
113860 Homework 김*혁 완료 2021-11-15 206
113859 What wishes do you have for your family members? 신*섭 완료 2021-11-15 201
113858 Homework 방*영 완료 2021-11-15 186
113857 How do you think you could reduce stress or prevent stress in... 이*현 완료 2021-11-15 191
113856 If you are very busy at work or at school, do you have ways to... 이*현 완료 2021-11-15 187
113855 How do you ask for help? 주*석 완료 2021-11-15 0
113854 Which among your things is hard for you to throw away? Why? 서*영 완료 2021-11-15 1
113853 Artic 윤*진 완료 2021-11-15 1
113852 What was the last thing you bought for yourself? where did you... 양*빈 완료 2021-11-15 1
113851 Why I like to going to school 김*성 완료 2021-11-15 549

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

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지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
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01
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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