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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Jane\'s Oral Presentation 1

작성자: 류*선
2021-12-02 282

회원님의 영작문

1. My parents believe that art and music classes are essential subjects in the school curriculum. Students should be equipped with diverse classes to be better people in society. Also, they should be instilled with the value of beauty through various fields of education. Students have to be taught art and music so that they are able to produce a sense of creativity, new values, motivation, and inspiration when they become adults who are core workers and are involved in society. Thus, schools have to keep art and music classes in the school curriculum.
2. Education in art and music shouldn’t be only for affluent families. All students should be equally able to have access to those subjects from school. If we remove art and music classes at school, parents who can’t afford after-school classes will face the harsh reality and confrontation of their children’s education. Some may say it is an intangible investment for education. But it is deeply tangible in their spirit and soul.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

You have a beautiful topic, Jane! Finally, you are almost done with your English program. I am proud of you!-Faith-
1. My parents believe that art and music classes are essential subjects in the school curriculum. 
>> CORRECT
Students should be equipped with diverse classes to be better people in society. 
>> CORRECT
OR Students should be equipped with diverse subject matters to become responsible citizens in society.
Also, they should be instilled with the value of beauty through various fields of education. 
>> Also, the value of beauty through various fields of education should be instilled in them.
OR In addition, aesthetic appreciation through various fields of education should be instilled in them.
Students have to be taught art and music so that they are able to produce a sense of creativity, new values, motivation, and inspiration when they become adults who are core workers and are involved in society. 
>> Students have to be taught art and music to develop sense of creativity, new values, motivation, and inspiration when they become adults who are core workers and are members of society. 
Thus, schools have to keep art and music classes in the school curriculum.
>> CORRECT
OR These benefits should be enough reasons to retain such classes in the school curriculum.
2. Education in art and music shouldn’t be only for affluent families. 
>> CORRECT
OR Art and music education shouldn't only be the privilege of the upper class.
All students should be equally able to have access to those subjects from school. 
>> All students should be equally capable to access those subjects from school. 
If we remove art and music classes at school, parents who can’t afford after-school classes will face the harsh reality and confrontation of their children’s education. 
>> If we remove them from school, parents who can’t afford after-school classes will face the harsh reality and confrontation of their children’s education. 
Some may say it is an intangible investment for education. 
>> CORRECT
But it is deeply tangible in their spirit and soul.
>> CORRECT
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
113670 homework 김*연 완료 2021-11-08 309
113669 What will you do when you retire? 이*람 완료 2021-11-08 2
113668 숙제 정*연 완료 2021-11-08 790
113667 I want to learn English until retire my company. 이*민 완료 2021-11-08 315
113666 My Homework 강*우 완료 2021-11-08 424
113665 homework 정*호 완료 2021-11-08 0
113664 Why do you think that maintaining to speak good English is a... 송*진 완료 2021-11-08 2
113663 What do you think is the biggest problem your country is facing... 류*주 완료 2021-11-08 645
113662 Monday homework 류*우 완료 2021-11-08 401
113661 What do you do to stay healthy? 김*은 완료 2021-11-08 3
113660 Do you think being a professional dancer would be a good job? 김*은 완료 2021-11-08 1
113659 My siblings 민*정 완료 2021-11-08 1
113658 Is your personality suited to your job? 김*진 완료 2021-11-08 2
113657 Homework 강*선 완료 2021-11-08 361
113656 Homework 박*리 완료 2021-11-08 357
113655 Homework 윤*임 완료 2021-11-08 321
113654 e-mail correction 박*광 완료 2021-11-08 2
113653 e-mail correction 박*광 완료 2021-11-08 2
113652 Punctuality 기*현 완료 2021-11-08 493
113651 e-mail correction 박*광 완료 2021-11-08 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

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지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
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업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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