¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do young men also have body image problems?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-12-02 309

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, they do. When I was thirty, one of my cousin gave me advice about how I look better. They are thinking, nice appearance is powerful advantage. When I watch a TV. I can see beautiful boys easily. for example BTS. Many young people want to look like them. Young men who put on makeup are increasing, and they want to wear well known brand cloths. Other people want to have good body line through weight training. But, there is a problem. While doing weight training, Some young people drink protein supplements. If they drink protein supplements, it is possible to lost reproductive capacity.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hwanny! :)
Thank you for answering our essay question. 
I agree that regardless of gender, everyone can body image problems. 
This is generally because of the unrealistic standards that our society is setting especially for young people. 
I hope that your kids won't have to go through that kind of crisis in the future. 
Anyhow, I hope you're having a great evening. 
See you in class later. ^^
~T. Charry

Yes, they do. 
>> CORRECT!
When I was thirty, one of my cousin gave me advice about how I look better. 
>> When I was thirty, one of my cousins gave me advice about how I would look better.
They are thinking, nice appearance is powerful advantage. 
>> They are thinking that nice appearance is a powerful advantage.
When I watch a TV. I can see beautiful boys easily. 
>> When I watch TV, I often see beautiful boys. 
for example BTS. 
>> An example of that is BTS. 
Many young people want to look like them. 
>> CORRECT!
Young men who put on makeup are increasing, and they want to wear well known brand cloths.
>> Young men who put on makeup are increasing and they want to wear branded or designer clothes.
Other people want to have good body line through weight training. 
>> Other people want to have a good body line through weight training. 
But, there is a problem. 
>> CORRECT!
While doing weight training, Some young people drink protein supplements. 
>> While doing weight training, some young people drink protein supplements. 
If they drink protein supplements, it is possible to lost reproductive capacity.
>> If they drink protein supplements, it could affect their reproductive health. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114230 What do you want to accomplish in the first 30 days of this job? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-28 407
114229 Can you describe your current job? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-28 408
114228 What would be your ideal working environment? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-28 329
114227 What do you think of politics? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-28 279
114226 Describe a time you went above and beyond at work ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-28 426
114225 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-28 0
114224 Stabbing sparks debate in South Korea over passive policing and... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-28 1
114223 Is it common for employers to contact workers outside of working... À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-28 5
114222 If you see a homeless person on the street asking for money,... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 376
114221 homework sport! ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 1
114220 HOMework idioms ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 1
114219 Street sign. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 1
114218 Christmas Invitation Letter ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 376
114217 How will computers change in the future? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 314
114216 What do you think very old people think of modern technology? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 413
114215 What is your ideal job? Why? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 504
114214 Do you watch commercials or skip them? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 370
114213 Argument ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 693
114212 I bought a new smart phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 355
114211 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 412

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04