¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Korea\'s low birth rate.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¹Î
2021-12-03 468

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Dear Don, I will talk about low birth rate of Korea continuously. As I said, Korea women has a high level education in the world. so they have a economic ability now, so they can live alone without support. old time, women could not get a job that they get a lot of money. so they have to depend on their husband. so they married when they are young. so they can get a child with easy and a lot of child. in my case, I had a 2 elder brothers and sister. but I had only one son. my elder brother also had one son too. so population is getting decrease.
These days, young people don't want to marry. so it is very serious situation. in the future, Korea will be replace foreign people.
T. Don, if you have a chance to go immigration another country, please come to Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Andrew!

Happy Monday! See you later ^^

T. DON

Dear Don, I will talk about low birth rate of Korea continuously.
>> CORRECT

As I said, Korea women has a high level education in the world. so they have a economic ability now, so they can live alone without support.
>> As I said, Korean women has a high level education in the world so they can be financially stable now and they can live alone without support.

Old time, women could not get a job that they get a lot of money. so they have to depend on their husband. so they married when they are young. so they can get a child with easy and a lot of child.
>> In the old times, women could not get a job with a good salary and so they have to depend on their husband. They get married when they were young so they can get a child with ease and have a lot of children.

in my case, I had a 2 elder brothers and sister. but I had only one son. my elder brother also had one son too. so population is getting decrease.
>> In my case, I had a 2 elder brothers and a sister and I had only one son. My elder brother also had one son too. The population is decreasing.

These days, young people don't want to marry. so it is very serious situation. in the future, Korea will be replace foreign people.
>> These days, young people don't want to get married and it is a very serious situation. In the future, Korea will be replaced by foreign people.

T. Don, if you have a chance to go immigration another country, please come to Korea.
>> T. Don, if you have a chance to go to another country, please consider and come to Korea.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114383 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 0
114382 Why ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 625
114381 Go out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 4
114380 How important is farming in your country? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114379 Jane\'s Oral Presentation 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 563
114378 Jane\'s Oral Presentation 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 194
114377 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 519
114376 What are the similarities/differences between collectors and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 214
114375 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114374 homework ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 233
114373 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114372 What is your biggest goal in life? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 480
114371 Getting older ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 372
114370 Nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work... Á¤*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114369 What would be the responsibilities of mother? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 318
114368 Dentist! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 725
114367 What is the most beautiful sight you have ever seen before?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 201
114366 Do you prefer Burger king or McDonald\'s why? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 6
114365 Would you rather be rich or famous? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114364 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 428

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04