¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Korea\'s low birth rate.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¹Î
2021-12-03 528

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Dear Don, I will talk about low birth rate of Korea continuously. As I said, Korea women has a high level education in the world. so they have a economic ability now, so they can live alone without support. old time, women could not get a job that they get a lot of money. so they have to depend on their husband. so they married when they are young. so they can get a child with easy and a lot of child. in my case, I had a 2 elder brothers and sister. but I had only one son. my elder brother also had one son too. so population is getting decrease.
These days, young people don't want to marry. so it is very serious situation. in the future, Korea will be replace foreign people.
T. Don, if you have a chance to go immigration another country, please come to Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Andrew!

Happy Monday! See you later ^^

T. DON

Dear Don, I will talk about low birth rate of Korea continuously.
>> CORRECT

As I said, Korea women has a high level education in the world. so they have a economic ability now, so they can live alone without support.
>> As I said, Korean women has a high level education in the world so they can be financially stable now and they can live alone without support.

Old time, women could not get a job that they get a lot of money. so they have to depend on their husband. so they married when they are young. so they can get a child with easy and a lot of child.
>> In the old times, women could not get a job with a good salary and so they have to depend on their husband. They get married when they were young so they can get a child with ease and have a lot of children.

in my case, I had a 2 elder brothers and sister. but I had only one son. my elder brother also had one son too. so population is getting decrease.
>> In my case, I had a 2 elder brothers and a sister and I had only one son. My elder brother also had one son too. The population is decreasing.

These days, young people don't want to marry. so it is very serious situation. in the future, Korea will be replace foreign people.
>> These days, young people don't want to get married and it is a very serious situation. In the future, Korea will be replaced by foreign people.

T. Don, if you have a chance to go immigration another country, please come to Korea.
>> T. Don, if you have a chance to go to another country, please consider and come to Korea.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113517 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 506
113516 11003 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113515 desert ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 332
113514 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 339
113513 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113512 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113511 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 4
113510 Howework ±Ç*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 2
113509 If you have the time, please try to answer this homework about... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 406
113508 1103 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113507 Kindly answer the following in essay form. Tell me about the... ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 2
113506 My son ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 2
113505 1103 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113504 How long would you wait to get served before complaining or... ¹®*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 1
113503 Funeral Sermon 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 313
113502 Funeral Sermon 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 461
113501 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 1
113500 What are the good and bad things about tourism? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 1
113499 How should one prepare him/herself for love? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 414
113498 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04