¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Korea\'s low birth rate.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¹Î
2021-12-03 684

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Dear Don, I will talk about low birth rate of Korea continuously. As I said, Korea women has a high level education in the world. so they have a economic ability now, so they can live alone without support. old time, women could not get a job that they get a lot of money. so they have to depend on their husband. so they married when they are young. so they can get a child with easy and a lot of child. in my case, I had a 2 elder brothers and sister. but I had only one son. my elder brother also had one son too. so population is getting decrease.
These days, young people don't want to marry. so it is very serious situation. in the future, Korea will be replace foreign people.
T. Don, if you have a chance to go immigration another country, please come to Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Andrew!

Happy Monday! See you later ^^

T. DON

Dear Don, I will talk about low birth rate of Korea continuously.
>> CORRECT

As I said, Korea women has a high level education in the world. so they have a economic ability now, so they can live alone without support.
>> As I said, Korean women has a high level education in the world so they can be financially stable now and they can live alone without support.

Old time, women could not get a job that they get a lot of money. so they have to depend on their husband. so they married when they are young. so they can get a child with easy and a lot of child.
>> In the old times, women could not get a job with a good salary and so they have to depend on their husband. They get married when they were young so they can get a child with ease and have a lot of children.

in my case, I had a 2 elder brothers and sister. but I had only one son. my elder brother also had one son too. so population is getting decrease.
>> In my case, I had a 2 elder brothers and a sister and I had only one son. My elder brother also had one son too. The population is decreasing.

These days, young people don't want to marry. so it is very serious situation. in the future, Korea will be replace foreign people.
>> These days, young people don't want to get married and it is a very serious situation. In the future, Korea will be replaced by foreign people.

T. Don, if you have a chance to go immigration another country, please come to Korea.
>> T. Don, if you have a chance to go to another country, please consider and come to Korea.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111710 9.7 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111709 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 489
111708 If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 577
111707 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 437
111706 plum ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 717
111705 Do you prefer your own country\'s food or other kinds of food? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111704 Who, besides your parents, had the biggest impact on your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 364
111703 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 519
111702 Do you like asking a lot of questions? Is it actually good to... Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 4
111701 0907 _ yejin ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111700 38 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 423
111699 Some countries are considering imposing curfews in which... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 453
111698 Have you been a racist in one way or another? Share your answer... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 559
111697 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 479
111696 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 546
111695 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 560
111694 Visiting Someone At the Hospital ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 505
111693 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111692 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111691 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 465

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04