¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

TALK ABOUT YOUR CITY AND WHY IT IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE TO VISIT.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼º*¿µ
2021-12-05 680

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My city is Daegu in Korea. There are many things I would like to say my city. I will say these three things. First, Daegu has convenient transformation. There are subway of three line and many bus not as well as Seoul. That's why It is very nice to live. Second, Daegu surrounded mountain. So It's safe for natural disasters. For instance, it is not flooding in summer. Additionally, we can enjoy beautiful view at top of mountain. Especially, The tall tower named e-tower is very beautiful at night. That's because It is a beautiful place to visit. I recommend this place to people who visit our city. Third, There is 'Dong sung Road', the center of city. We can enjoy various performance in this road. It's my favorite place. So I visit three times a week. Gym where I go to is there too. Beacause of these reason, I think Daegu is beautiful place and nice to live.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Sally!

Thank you for sharing about it!

~T. Roanne ^_^

=============================================
Corrections and Suggestions:

My city is Daegu in Korea. 
>> My City is in Daegu, Korea.
There are many things I would like to say my city. 
>> There are many things I would like to say about my city. 
I will say these three things. First, Daegu has convenient transformation. 
>> Correct!
There are subway of three line and many bus not as well as Seoul. 
>> There are subways with three line routes and many buses compared to Seoul. 
That's why It is very nice to live. Second, Daegu surrounded mountain. So It's safe for natural disasters. 
>> That's why It is very nice to live. Second, Daegu is surrounded by mountain. So, It's safe from natural disasters. 
For instance, it is not flooding in summer. 
>> Correct! 
Additionally, we can enjoy beautiful view at top of mountain. 
>> Additionally, we can enjoy the beautiful view at the top of mountain.
Especially, The tall tower named e-tower is very beautiful at night. 
>> Correct!
That's because It is a beautiful place to visit. I recommend this place to people who visit our city.
>> Correct!
Third, There is 'Dong sung Road', the center of city. We can enjoy various performance in this road.
>> Third, There is 'Dong sung Road', the center of the city. We can enjoy various performances on this road
It's my favorite place. So I visit three times a week. Gym where I go to is there too. 
>> It's my favorite place. So I visit three times a week. The gym where I go to is there too. 
Beacause of these reason, I think Daegu is beautiful place and nice to live.
>> Because of these reasons, I think Daegu is a beautiful place and nice to live.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115129 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 505
115128 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 635
115127 What are your new year goals? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 507
115126 Can you remember the name of the first movie you saw that made... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 0
115125 What is Art? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 1
115124 What could you do as a child that you can\'t do now? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 386
115123 What future risk do you want to try in your career? Answer in a... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 282
115122 If you could relive one moment in your life, what would it be? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 416
115121 Hello~ ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 3
115120 What is your comfort food and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 367
115119 I will miss my friends ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 586
115118 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 383
115117 What I\'m grateful for this Christmas.. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 565
115116 If i keep studying so far. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 294
115115 A memory that I want to forget. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 767
115114 free topic ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 430
115113 Can you think of two things you were happy about from this year,... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 303
115112 What are some New Year\'s revolutions you have made in the past? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 500
115111 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 320
115110 What traditions do you have during the Christmas season? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 483

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04