¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

TALK ABOUT YOUR CITY AND WHY IT IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE TO VISIT.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼º*¿µ
2021-12-05 659

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My city is Daegu in Korea. There are many things I would like to say my city. I will say these three things. First, Daegu has convenient transformation. There are subway of three line and many bus not as well as Seoul. That's why It is very nice to live. Second, Daegu surrounded mountain. So It's safe for natural disasters. For instance, it is not flooding in summer. Additionally, we can enjoy beautiful view at top of mountain. Especially, The tall tower named e-tower is very beautiful at night. That's because It is a beautiful place to visit. I recommend this place to people who visit our city. Third, There is 'Dong sung Road', the center of city. We can enjoy various performance in this road. It's my favorite place. So I visit three times a week. Gym where I go to is there too. Beacause of these reason, I think Daegu is beautiful place and nice to live.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Sally!

Thank you for sharing about it!

~T. Roanne ^_^

=============================================
Corrections and Suggestions:

My city is Daegu in Korea. 
>> My City is in Daegu, Korea.
There are many things I would like to say my city. 
>> There are many things I would like to say about my city. 
I will say these three things. First, Daegu has convenient transformation. 
>> Correct!
There are subway of three line and many bus not as well as Seoul. 
>> There are subways with three line routes and many buses compared to Seoul. 
That's why It is very nice to live. Second, Daegu surrounded mountain. So It's safe for natural disasters. 
>> That's why It is very nice to live. Second, Daegu is surrounded by mountain. So, It's safe from natural disasters. 
For instance, it is not flooding in summer. 
>> Correct! 
Additionally, we can enjoy beautiful view at top of mountain. 
>> Additionally, we can enjoy the beautiful view at the top of mountain.
Especially, The tall tower named e-tower is very beautiful at night. 
>> Correct!
That's because It is a beautiful place to visit. I recommend this place to people who visit our city.
>> Correct!
Third, There is 'Dong sung Road', the center of city. We can enjoy various performance in this road.
>> Third, There is 'Dong sung Road', the center of the city. We can enjoy various performances on this road
It's my favorite place. So I visit three times a week. Gym where I go to is there too. 
>> It's my favorite place. So I visit three times a week. The gym where I go to is there too. 
Beacause of these reason, I think Daegu is beautiful place and nice to live.
>> Because of these reasons, I think Daegu is a beautiful place and nice to live.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114010 King and Queen ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 353
114009 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 392
114008 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1
114007 What do you think of the proverb, \"beauty is in the eye of the... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 0
114006 Sorry Fiona È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 261
114005 Face-to-Face phishing on trise : Police À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1
114004 Some people believe that happiness and emotional maturity are... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 992
114003 Which do you think is the most difficult language? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 370
114002 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 473
114001 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 476
114000 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 900
113999 1119 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 645
113998 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1059
113997 Are you the type of person who easily apologizes or do you let... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1
113996 Do you mind sharing your problems with your friends? È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 312
113995 What are the benefits of exercising? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1
113994 1118 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113993 Are you happy with the government assistance of old people in... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 320
113992 1118 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113991 What are some of the benefits and disadvantages of electric cars? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1170

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04