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Am i afraid of getting older?

작성자: 박*협
2021-12-06 416

회원님의 영작문

Rather than afraid of getting older, I thought a lot about how I thought about death.
At that time, the more I thought about it, the more scared I was.
But I'm not afraid at all now that I'm an adult.
Everyone will grow old and no one knows how not to die.
As i get older, i make that many good memories, and as i give birth and raise children, i think of other generations.
Someday my children will get married and become parents like me.
However, I think it's working hard and self-management so that I can live young for a little longer.
I don't want to live long, and I want to live a valuable and enjoyable life every moment and end my life happily blessed.
I'm not afraid of anything.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Evan:) 

We shouldn't be afraid of getting old because it's a very natural thing. We gain a lot of wisdom and memories from it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

Rather than afraid of getting older, I thought a lot about how I thought about death.
>> Instead of being afraid of getting older, I think a lot about my death. 

At that time, the more I thought about it, the more scared I was.
>> At that time, I think about it a lot and get more scared. 

But I'm not afraid at all now that I'm an adult.
>> But I am not afraid that much anymore since I am already an adult. 

Everyone will grow old and no one knows how not to die.
>> CORRECT

As i get older, i make that many good memories, and as i give birth and raise children, i think of other generations.
>> As II get older, I make that many good memories, and as I have raised my children. 

Someday my children will get married and become parents like me.
>> Someday, my children will get married and become parents like me.

However, I think it's working hard and self-management so that I can live young for a little longer.
>> However, I think working hard and self-management is the key to living longer. 

I don't want to live long, and I want to live a valuable and enjoyable life every moment and end my life happily blessed.
>> I don't want to live long. I just want to live a valuable and enjoyable life every moment  until the end. 

I'm not afraid of anything.
>> CORRECT
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