¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you believe in God? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-06 779

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As a result, I believe in God.
People made religions because they thought that someone may made this world.
But it is just one of the fixed minds because people's logics are limited.
They can't explain the creation of the world without the mind.
So they thought that somebody may made this world.
Before, I didn't knew about this fact so I just believed in God.
But I thought about my religion, and it caused the curiosity about my religion.
So sometimes, I doubted about my religion.
But now, I recognized that believing is more important than knowing the fact.
All what I have to do is just believe, and if I am having a hard time, depend on my trust.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:) 

Yes, that's true. We just need to have faith and believe. 
Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

As a result, I believe in God.
>> I believe in God. 

People made religions because they thought that someone may made this world.
>> People made religions because they thought that someone made this world.

But it is just one of the fixed minds because people's logics are limited.
>> But it's just the product of logics of people's minds. 

They can't explain the creation of the world without the mind.
>> They don't know the explanation whether how the world was created. 

So they thought that somebody may made this world.
>> So they thought that somebody may have made this world.

Before, I didn't knew about this fact so I just believed in God.
>> CORRECT

But I thought about my religion, and it caused the curiosity about my religion.
But I was thinking about my religion, and made me curious.

So sometimes, I doubted about my religion.
>> CORRECT

But now, I recognized that believing is more important than knowing the fact.
>> CORRECT

All what I have to do is just believe, and if I am having a hard time, depend on my trust.
>> All I have to do it just believe even if I have a hard time. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117814 Do you have any hobbies?what is that? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 1070
117813 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 0
117812 What type of work environment do you prefer? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 1095
117811 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 1045
117810 What do you think is the best TV show and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 2
117809 What is your favorite holiday in your country? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 911
117808 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 486
117807 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 2
117806 I think we¡¯d better not borrow money ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 1421
117805 What fun activities do you do in spring? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 1
117804 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 2
117803 coffee ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 723
117802 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 1
117801 2022.3.28 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 793
117800 Would you leave a tip even if you thought the waiter or waitress... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 1
117799 What are the advantages of learning a foreign language? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 827
117798 Homework ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 0
117797 What are the possible benefits of working on weekends? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 411
117796 What is the worst vice for you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 1
117795 If you can listen to one song every day, what would it be and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 878

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04