¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you believe in God? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-06 901

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As a result, I believe in God.
People made religions because they thought that someone may made this world.
But it is just one of the fixed minds because people's logics are limited.
They can't explain the creation of the world without the mind.
So they thought that somebody may made this world.
Before, I didn't knew about this fact so I just believed in God.
But I thought about my religion, and it caused the curiosity about my religion.
So sometimes, I doubted about my religion.
But now, I recognized that believing is more important than knowing the fact.
All what I have to do is just believe, and if I am having a hard time, depend on my trust.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:) 

Yes, that's true. We just need to have faith and believe. 
Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

As a result, I believe in God.
>> I believe in God. 

People made religions because they thought that someone may made this world.
>> People made religions because they thought that someone made this world.

But it is just one of the fixed minds because people's logics are limited.
>> But it's just the product of logics of people's minds. 

They can't explain the creation of the world without the mind.
>> They don't know the explanation whether how the world was created. 

So they thought that somebody may made this world.
>> So they thought that somebody may have made this world.

Before, I didn't knew about this fact so I just believed in God.
>> CORRECT

But I thought about my religion, and it caused the curiosity about my religion.
But I was thinking about my religion, and made me curious.

So sometimes, I doubted about my religion.
>> CORRECT

But now, I recognized that believing is more important than knowing the fact.
>> CORRECT

All what I have to do is just believe, and if I am having a hard time, depend on my trust.
>> All I have to do it just believe even if I have a hard time. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117018 2022.3.2 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 1683
117017 How do you feel if you miss a family gathering because of work? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 6
117016 Does bad weather ever affect transport in your country? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 843
117015 bad weather and transport ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 1301
117014 3/3 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 1145
117013 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 0
117012 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 3
117011 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 1
117010 Mountain ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 1237
117009 In mind ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 3
117008 What\'s the best book you\'ve read so far? Answer in a few... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 0
117007 What was the most difficult book you have read? Share your... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 0
117006 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 1173
117005 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 1
117004 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 1237
117003 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 1064
117002 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 1088
117001 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 666
117000 . À±*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 1
116999 What are some things that you always take with you on a trip? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-03 1486

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04