¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Lose The Moon

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-12-06 486

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme : [ESSAY] What do you think is going to happen if Earth is going to lose the moon?
We can't see anything at night.
So we will have to use candles or smartphone flash at night.
And there won't be tides.
When Earth lose the Moon, It won't be so good! : ( ; (

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Clair.
See you on Wednesday! 

Cheers,
Jean~~


           Theme : [ESSAY] What do you think is going to happen if Earth is going to lose the moon?


We can't see anything at night.
>> or: It would be almost pitch black at night. 

So we will have to use candles or smartphone flash at night.
>> So we will have to use candles or smartphone lights at night.

And there won't be tides.
>> or: And there won't be any tides, such as high or low tides on Earth.

When Earth lose the Moon, It won't be so good! : ( ; (
>> When Earth loses the Moon, it would be terrible! : ( ; (
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115832 2022/1/19 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 448
115831 01/18/2022 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1074
115830 How often do you use public transport? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 0
115829 Are older people actually wiser? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 963
115828 If a book has been made into a movie, which do you prefer to do... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 1
115827 1. What are the things that make you happy? 2. What are the... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 334
115826 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 1442
115825 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 957
115824 I have but now it\'s change ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 1061
115823 Am I right track?! ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 902
115822 Essay (Jan 21th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-23 811
115821 Does anyone famous come from your hometown? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 637
115820 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 607
115819 Places with Contents ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 828
115818 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 970
115817 Have you ever left discrimination from other people before? How... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 1008
115816 If a book has been made into a movie, which do you prefer to do... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 559
115815 Do you think that having a lot of money can make you happy? Why... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 642
115814 Have you ever felt discrimination from other people before? How... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 1
115813 What do you think is your main purpose in life? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04