¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Lose The Moon

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-12-06 537

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme : [ESSAY] What do you think is going to happen if Earth is going to lose the moon?
We can't see anything at night.
So we will have to use candles or smartphone flash at night.
And there won't be tides.
When Earth lose the Moon, It won't be so good! : ( ; (

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Clair.
See you on Wednesday! 

Cheers,
Jean~~


           Theme : [ESSAY] What do you think is going to happen if Earth is going to lose the moon?


We can't see anything at night.
>> or: It would be almost pitch black at night. 

So we will have to use candles or smartphone flash at night.
>> So we will have to use candles or smartphone lights at night.

And there won't be tides.
>> or: And there won't be any tides, such as high or low tides on Earth.

When Earth lose the Moon, It won't be so good! : ( ; (
>> When Earth loses the Moon, it would be terrible! : ( ; (
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113532 Worst invention ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 636
113531 Happy halloween! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 782
113530 Why is regret important? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 912
113529 Abebe Bikila : barefoot marathoner ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 439
113528 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113527 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 371
113526 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 337
113525 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 385
113524 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113523 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 499
113522 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 1
113521 If I don\'t work an engineer. ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 428
113520 1103. ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113519 Since it\'s Halloween season, do you think ghosts are real? Why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 402
113518 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 641
113517 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 551
113516 11003 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0
113515 desert ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 375
113514 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 386
113513 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-03 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04