¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Lose The Moon

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-12-06 604

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme : [ESSAY] What do you think is going to happen if Earth is going to lose the moon?
We can't see anything at night.
So we will have to use candles or smartphone flash at night.
And there won't be tides.
When Earth lose the Moon, It won't be so good! : ( ; (

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Clair.
See you on Wednesday! 

Cheers,
Jean~~


           Theme : [ESSAY] What do you think is going to happen if Earth is going to lose the moon?


We can't see anything at night.
>> or: It would be almost pitch black at night. 

So we will have to use candles or smartphone flash at night.
>> So we will have to use candles or smartphone lights at night.

And there won't be tides.
>> or: And there won't be any tides, such as high or low tides on Earth.

When Earth lose the Moon, It won't be so good! : ( ; (
>> When Earth loses the Moon, it would be terrible! : ( ; (
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113122 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 665
113121 HOMEWORK: What movie genre do you like watching? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 2
113120 HOMEWORK: What is your favorite thing to do alone? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113119 Go out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 3
113118 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 581
113117 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 0
113116 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 6
113115 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 4
113114 What is your daily routine during the weekdays? Explain briefly. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 480
113113 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 445
113112 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 919
113111 musical instrument ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 511
113110 How do you change annoying habits? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 382
113109 Who should take care of the old people there in Korea? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113108 Journal ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 656
113107 Homework from the lesson 10202021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1024
113106 29 foreigners caught heating on kOrean language test À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113105 What do politicians usually do when election day is about to... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 421
113104 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113103 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 576

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04