¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I believe god

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-12-06 431

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I remember last class I told you my church history....
I don't like church people and don't know about it's right express.
My honesty mind is can't believe church worker.
But I have seen very bad big criminal connect with my church main pastor.
And then I can't believe church people and I have very strong prejudice.
But I believe god alive with us every where.
I don't like only church, I love god and trust
and believe and good.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

Me too. I think that there are some pastors that are really bad. But the important thing is that we have a very strong faith with God. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

I remember last class I told you my church history....
>> 
I remember that I told you about my religion history on our last class. 

I don't like church people and don't know about it's right express.
>> I don't like church people and don't know whether what they are saying are right.

My honesty mind is can't believe church worker.
>> My honest mind doesn't believe in church workers. 

But I have seen very bad big criminal connect with my church main pastor.
>> I have see a criminal connect with the church's main pastor. 

And then I can't believe church people and I have very strong prejudice.
>> After that, I can't believe how these people can actually do that so I have a very strong prejudice. 

But I believe god alive with us every where.
>> But I believe that  God is with us everyday. 

I don't like only church, I love god and trust and believe and good.
>> I don't like going to church but I love God. I trust and believe in Him. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114303 Which one should I read first? ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 258
114302 Animals can be friends with people. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 983
114301 If you can change one of your personalities, what would it be... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 793
114300 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1255
114299 What do you do after learning that you did something wrong? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 177
114298 ESSAY Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 644
114297 Halloween ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 164
114296 Do you think parents must set time limits for their children to... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 152
114295 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 496
114294 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1
114293 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 140
114292 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1032
114291 What kind of advertising is offensive? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 165
114290 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 3
114289 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1
114288 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 160
114287 Is honesty important? Why or why not? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 243
114286 What effect does divorce have on children? Explain. ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 3
114285 What\'s the best thing about your grandparents? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 2
114284 Not all drivers obey the laws while driving on the road. What... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 404

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04