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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Funeral Sermon 2

작성자: 류*선
2021-12-07 360

회원님의 영작문

Sometimes things happen that we don’t fully understand.
We know that life is not perfect. And we all have experienced that our lives and the world are broken. It means we all have committed sins and we have sinful nature.
What we have earned for all our sins is separation from God,
But our encouragement is that one day, all of our hurt and pain can be over, and we can spend all eternity in paradise.
Jesus Christ came to this earth and died to give us a gift. And friends, it is a gift that gives us hope. We receive eternal life through putting our faith and our trust in Jesus.
God can take us from our situation and bring us to a place of rest where we can lie down beside quiet waters where our souls can be refreshed.
[Name of deceased] made Jesus the Lord of [his/her] life, and because of that, [he/she] could know how what David meant in Psalm 23 saying, Friends, we must realize in the midst of this time of mourning that there is good news! That through Jesus, death is not the end.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

I will still keep working on the last page, Han! See you!-Faith-
Sometimes things happen that we don’t fully understand.
>> CORRECT
OR Some things happen that are beyond our comprehension.
We know that life is not perfect. And we all have experienced that our lives and the world are broken. 
>> We know that life is not perfect and we all have experienced that our lives and the world are broken. 
OR Life is perfectly imperfect and we all experience the cruelty of this broken world.
It means we all have committed sins and we have sinful nature.
>> CORRECT
What we have earned for all our sins is separation from God,
>> What we have earned for all our sins is separation from God.
OR The outcome of our sins is misery.
But our encouragement is that one day, all of our hurt and pain can be over, and we can spend all eternity in paradise.
>> But our encouragement is that one day, our hurt and pain can be over, and we can spend all eternity in paradise.
OR But we hold on to our hope that all of our sufferings will vanish eternally in paradise.
Jesus Christ came to this earth and died to give us a gift. 
>> CORRECT
OR Jesus came down from heaven and laid down His life for us.
And friends, it is a gift that gives us hope. 
>> CORRECT
OR And my dear friends, Christ's life is a gift and in His life, we can find hope.
We receive eternal life through putting our faith and our trust in Jesus.
>> CORRECT
God can take us from our situation and bring us to a place of rest where we can lie down beside quiet waters where our souls can be refreshed.
>> God can take us from our situation and bring us to a place of rest where we can lie down beside quiet waters where our souls can be refreshed.
OR Our God is Mighty that He can take us away from this chaotic world and bring us beside the still waters to rest.
[Name of deceased] made Jesus the Lord of [his/her] life, and because of that, [he/she] could know how what David meant in Psalm 23 saying, Friends, we must realize in the midst of this time of mourning that there is good news! 
>> [Name of deceased] made Jesus the Lord of [his/her] life, and because of that, [he/she] could know what David meant in Psalm 23 saying, "Friends, we must realize in the midst of this time of mourning, there is good news!"
That through Jesus, death is not the end.
>> CORRECT
OR That through Jesus, death is not the end of our story.
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