¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people believe that teacher should be strict for students better learning and other people say

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-12-07 274

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many of us believe that if teachers or parents are strict to children, it will be bright future for them. however, I don't fully agree it because we have easily seen people who have mental problem when they become adults due to strict discipline at school. My teacher frequently punished physically if students broke the school regulations. We thought that it was teacher's right and it was for students but some teacher did it as their habit or relieving their stress by beating students. It is also reported that if parents shouted at children rather than trying to explain what kind of mistake children commit, their kids don't want to be with parents and might be suffering against stress. I think all people know what the right way to discipline but even adults don't know how to control their mind, if they are high temper. However, parents and teachers must improve communication skills with students. If so, it would be helpful for their children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great day Mr. Hwang! ^^ Thanks for doing your essays! It's getting colder now so keep yourself warm! Take care!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Many of us believe that if teachers or parents are strict to children, it will be bright future for them.
>>> Many of us believe that if teachers or parents are strict to children, they will have a bright future.
 however, I don't fully agree it because we have easily seen people who have mental problem when they become adults due to strict discipline at school. 
>>>  However, I don't fully agree with it because we have easily seen people who have mental problems when they become adults due to strict discipline at school. 
My teacher frequently punished physically if students broke the school regulations.
>>> My teacher frequently punished students physically which broke the school regulations.
 We thought that it was teacher's right and it was for students but some teacher did it as their habit or relieving their stress by beating students.
>>>  We thought that it was the teacher's right and it was for students but some teacher did it as their habit or relieving their stress by beating students.
 It is also reported that if parents shouted at children rather than trying to explain what kind of mistake children commit, their kids don't want to be with parents and might be suffering against stress.
>>>  It is also reported that if parents shouted at their children rather than trying to explain what kind of mistake their children have committed, their kids don't want to be with their parents and might be suffering from getting stressed.
 I think all people know what the right way to discipline but even adults don't know how to control their mind, if they are high temper. 
>>>  I think all people know what the right way to discipline is but even adults don't know how to control their mind, if they are hot tempered. 
However, parents and teachers must improve communication skills with students.
>>> However, parents and teachers must improve their communication skills with the students.
 If so, it would be helpful for their children.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113909 Would you rather be poor and happy of rich and unhappy? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 1
113908 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 335
113907 Stress ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 2
113906 Kindly answer the following in essay form. Are there any... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 262
113905 Why do we dream? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 0
113904 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 370
113903 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 464
113902 What is the most important thing in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 298
113901 Today\'s homework Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 2
113900 about the whisper ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 797
113899 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 1
113898 Studying science ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 0
113897 astronaut training(past) À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 1
113896 How can you promote your country to foreigners? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 664
113895 Is fashion important or not important? Why or why not? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 426
113894 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113893 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113892 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113891 Would you spend on the wallpaper, paint, the garden. etc. if you... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113890 11.15 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04