¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you believe in lucky charms? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-07 170

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As a result, I don't believe in any lucky charms.
I am interested in science, and there are many kinds of logics in it.
But the lucky charms are not according to any science parts.
The lucky charms are what people made because they need to trust, and I think believing my own religion is much better than believing the lucky charms.
So I don't believe in any luck charms, and also I don't want to.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

As a result, I don't believe in any lucky charms.
>> I don't believe in lucky charms. 

I am interested in science, and there are many kinds of logics in it.
>> I am only interested in Science where there are a lot of logics. 

But the lucky charms are not according to any science parts.
>> Lucky chams don't  have any logical explanations to it. 

The lucky charms are what people made because they need to trust, and I think believing my own religion is much better than believing the lucky charms.
>> Lucky charms are made by people for their security. I think having a religion is better than believing in luck. 

So I don't believe in any luck charms, and also I don't want to.
>>So I don't believe in any luck charms, and I also don't want to.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114324 What do you and your family usually do during Christmas? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 163
114323 Have you ever dreamt about something that later came true? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 195
114322 What is good about renting something? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 0
114321 who\'s the biggest art fan you know? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 8
114320 When are secrets a good thing? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 721
114319 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 87
114318 What I will buy gift in christmas to my family ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 104
114317 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 2
114316 Walking with family is the most important, and best out door... ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 113
114315 What are the positive things about watching TV? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 155
114314 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 169
114313 essay about \"Have you ever been to a farm?\" ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 196
114312 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 357
114311 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 129
114310 I think it is Busan. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 3
114309 My day ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 3
114308 What has been the most rewarding experience of your career thus... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 164
114307 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 127
114306 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 2
114305 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04