¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Saving electricity is very important.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-12-07 165

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Saving electricity is very important. These days, electricity became vital energy. We can't use computer, phone, or lantern. These things are vital things to our lives. We can't study in night, and lots of jobs which use computer will disappear. Like this, electricity became vital energy to our lives. Then, we have to save this energy to use it after century. So, we should learn how to save electricity such as unplugging, or turn off lights. It can save lots of energy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel!  Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question. Superb! However, please focus on articles and prepositions. 

- Teacher Debbie


Saving electricity is very important. 
>> This is a good sentence.

These days, electricity became vital energy.
>> These days, electricity is becoming vital energy.

We can't use computer, phone, or lantern. 
>> We can't use computers, phones, or lanterns without it.

These things are vital things to our lives.
>> These things are vital for our lives.

 We can't study in night, and lots of jobs which use computer will disappear. 
>> We can't study at night, and lots of  jobs which use computers will disappear without electricity.

Like this, electricity became vital energy to our lives. 
>> Hence, it is vital.

Then, we have to save this energy to use it after century. 
>> We have to save energy so that we can still use it after a century,

So, we should learn how to save electricity such as unplugging, or turn off lights. 
>> We should learn how to save electricity by unplugging appliances or turning off lights.

It can save lots of energy.
>> This is a good sentence.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114499 How would you describe a healthy diet? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 2
114498 12.06 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 0
114497 I like him!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 149
114496 essay about\"If you could be invisible for a day what would you... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 126
114495 I want to travel if I have a lot of money. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 201
114494 What are the elements of a perfect vacation? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 3
114493 Who makes you laugh? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 670
114492 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 2
114491 after 5 years. ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 109
114490 I believe god ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 425
114489 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 121
114488 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1311
114487 What are some countries that you would never visit? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 385
114486 Do you believe in lucky charms? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114485 Do you believe in God? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 0
114484 which season is the most beautiful? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 118
114483 Lose The Moon Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 253
114482 Do you believe in God? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 516
114481 near my house ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114480 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04