¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Saving electricity is very important.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-12-07 249

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Saving electricity is very important. These days, electricity became vital energy. We can't use computer, phone, or lantern. These things are vital things to our lives. We can't study in night, and lots of jobs which use computer will disappear. Like this, electricity became vital energy to our lives. Then, we have to save this energy to use it after century. So, we should learn how to save electricity such as unplugging, or turn off lights. It can save lots of energy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel!  Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question. Superb! However, please focus on articles and prepositions. 

- Teacher Debbie


Saving electricity is very important. 
>> This is a good sentence.

These days, electricity became vital energy.
>> These days, electricity is becoming vital energy.

We can't use computer, phone, or lantern. 
>> We can't use computers, phones, or lanterns without it.

These things are vital things to our lives.
>> These things are vital for our lives.

 We can't study in night, and lots of jobs which use computer will disappear. 
>> We can't study at night, and lots of  jobs which use computers will disappear without electricity.

Like this, electricity became vital energy to our lives. 
>> Hence, it is vital.

Then, we have to save this energy to use it after century. 
>> We have to save energy so that we can still use it after a century,

So, we should learn how to save electricity such as unplugging, or turn off lights. 
>> We should learn how to save electricity by unplugging appliances or turning off lights.

It can save lots of energy.
>> This is a good sentence.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113267 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 255
113266 Middle child ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 266
113265 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 2
113264 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 2
113263 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 1
113262 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 1
113261 What was the longest time you have ever been awake in the... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 807
113260 1026 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 981
113259 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 1
113258 Some people say that \"money makes the world go around.\" Do you... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 3
113257 There are some extreme hobbies that some people enjoy. What can... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 1
113256 What motivates you to do a great job at work? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 345
113255 what I do in morning to evening ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 238
113254 Why the farm animals are important ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 198
113253 1025(3) ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 211
113252 1025(2) ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 192
113251 1025 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 206
113250 I prefer desert ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 565
113249 Which is shorter your hair or your mom\'s hair? Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 206
113248 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04