¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Saving electricity is very important.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-12-07 292

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Saving electricity is very important. These days, electricity became vital energy. We can't use computer, phone, or lantern. These things are vital things to our lives. We can't study in night, and lots of jobs which use computer will disappear. Like this, electricity became vital energy to our lives. Then, we have to save this energy to use it after century. So, we should learn how to save electricity such as unplugging, or turn off lights. It can save lots of energy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel!  Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question. Superb! However, please focus on articles and prepositions. 

- Teacher Debbie


Saving electricity is very important. 
>> This is a good sentence.

These days, electricity became vital energy.
>> These days, electricity is becoming vital energy.

We can't use computer, phone, or lantern. 
>> We can't use computers, phones, or lanterns without it.

These things are vital things to our lives.
>> These things are vital for our lives.

 We can't study in night, and lots of jobs which use computer will disappear. 
>> We can't study at night, and lots of  jobs which use computers will disappear without electricity.

Like this, electricity became vital energy to our lives. 
>> Hence, it is vital.

Then, we have to save this energy to use it after century. 
>> We have to save energy so that we can still use it after a century,

So, we should learn how to save electricity such as unplugging, or turn off lights. 
>> We should learn how to save electricity by unplugging appliances or turning off lights.

It can save lots of energy.
>> This is a good sentence.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112582 my favorite things ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 236
112581 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1
112580 Why is English fluency significant for you? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 330
112579 What is your top priority nowadays? Share your answer in a few... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 360
112578 Give feedback or answer the question of our boss À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 237
112577 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 2
112576 Convenience stores continue to see higher sales in pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1
112575 my personality (homework for 10.05) ±è*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 223
112574 Today\'s topic is the weather ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 1
112573 Do you think computers are smarter than human beings? Answer in... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 249
112572 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 0
112571 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 279
112570 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 453
112569 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 269
112568 Is there an important link between inflation and unemployment? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 302
112567 Why is it important to vote? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 2
112566 Whom do you share your problems with? And why? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 3
112565 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 258
112564 What¡¯s the best plan you had? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 2
112563 Just my personal opinion :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 203

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04