¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Saving electricity is very important.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-12-07 499

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Saving electricity is very important. These days, electricity became vital energy. We can't use computer, phone, or lantern. These things are vital things to our lives. We can't study in night, and lots of jobs which use computer will disappear. Like this, electricity became vital energy to our lives. Then, we have to save this energy to use it after century. So, we should learn how to save electricity such as unplugging, or turn off lights. It can save lots of energy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel!  Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question. Superb! However, please focus on articles and prepositions. 

- Teacher Debbie


Saving electricity is very important. 
>> This is a good sentence.

These days, electricity became vital energy.
>> These days, electricity is becoming vital energy.

We can't use computer, phone, or lantern. 
>> We can't use computers, phones, or lanterns without it.

These things are vital things to our lives.
>> These things are vital for our lives.

 We can't study in night, and lots of jobs which use computer will disappear. 
>> We can't study at night, and lots of  jobs which use computers will disappear without electricity.

Like this, electricity became vital energy to our lives. 
>> Hence, it is vital.

Then, we have to save this energy to use it after century. 
>> We have to save energy so that we can still use it after a century,

So, we should learn how to save electricity such as unplugging, or turn off lights. 
>> We should learn how to save electricity by unplugging appliances or turning off lights.

It can save lots of energy.
>> This is a good sentence.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113403 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-30 433
113402 If you can spend a day with a famous person, who would you pick... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-30 1
113401 Turtles can breathe by their hips ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 1014
113400 Natural disaster ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 695
113399 Have you ever lost something while travelling? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 481
113398 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 1034
113397 Do you agree that money makes the world go around? ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 529
113396 Homework📝 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 742
113395 what korean do in winter season and what happens. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 586
113394 good things about korea ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 552
113393 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 389
113392 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 432
113391 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 1
113390 Music ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 955
113389 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 701
113388 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 606
113387 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 634
113386 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 429
113385 homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 342
113384 What natural disaster do you fear the most? and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 658

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04