¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Young Ann, and old Ann

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-12-08 366

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I am judging to myself so many thing change inside my mind.
Long time ago when I was student, I was very young and just weak.
When I heard a little bit of sensitivity sentences, it was very hurts and I cried right away.
But now I don't know it is good or bad.
When I heard some that bother me I can't hold in it. Just fight right away.
Not cry only angry and I try to refute it with logic.
I think.....that is most different thing young Ann, and now Ann.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

You can notice that you have matured in those changes. Good job! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

I am judging to myself so many thing change inside my mind.
>> I judge myself a lot about so many things. 

Long time ago when I was student, I was very young and just weak.
>> Long time ago, when I was student, I was very weak. 

When I heard a little bit of sensitivity sentences, it was very hurts and I cried right away.
>> When someone say sensitive things to me, I get hurt and cry easily. 

But now I don't know it is good or bad.
>> But I don't know whether it's good or bad. 

When I heard some that bother me I can't hold in it. Just fight right away.
>> When I hear that someone is saying bad things to me, I just fight them right away. 

Not cry only angry and I try to refute it with logic.
>> I don't cry or get angry anymore and I try to refute it with logic. 

I think.....that is most different thing young Ann, and now Ann.
>> I think those are the difference between the old Ann and the Ann now. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113336 What was the most enjoyable thing that you did during your... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 0
113335 Life without stars ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 339
113334 Go back and live ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 504
113333 ggguuuiiitttaaarrr~~~~~~~~~ ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 480
113332 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 327
113331 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 381
113330 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 3
113329 What makes you feel tired or challenged during family gatherings? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 2
113328 What\'s one job you wouldn\'t like to do? why not? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 2
113327 Do you think that music can help make world peace? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113326 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 319
113325 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 362
113324 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 0
113323 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 0
113322 Competitive Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 358
113321 Please correct the sentence I made À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 400
113320 6 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 454
113319 Homework: Write about the most famous places in your city. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 422
113318 What is something that always makes you angry? Kindly explain. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 562
113317 What is something that always makes you angry? Kindly explain. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04