¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Young Ann, and old Ann

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-12-08 372

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I am judging to myself so many thing change inside my mind.
Long time ago when I was student, I was very young and just weak.
When I heard a little bit of sensitivity sentences, it was very hurts and I cried right away.
But now I don't know it is good or bad.
When I heard some that bother me I can't hold in it. Just fight right away.
Not cry only angry and I try to refute it with logic.
I think.....that is most different thing young Ann, and now Ann.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

You can notice that you have matured in those changes. Good job! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

I am judging to myself so many thing change inside my mind.
>> I judge myself a lot about so many things. 

Long time ago when I was student, I was very young and just weak.
>> Long time ago, when I was student, I was very weak. 

When I heard a little bit of sensitivity sentences, it was very hurts and I cried right away.
>> When someone say sensitive things to me, I get hurt and cry easily. 

But now I don't know it is good or bad.
>> But I don't know whether it's good or bad. 

When I heard some that bother me I can't hold in it. Just fight right away.
>> When I hear that someone is saying bad things to me, I just fight them right away. 

Not cry only angry and I try to refute it with logic.
>> I don't cry or get angry anymore and I try to refute it with logic. 

I think.....that is most different thing young Ann, and now Ann.
>> I think those are the difference between the old Ann and the Ann now. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113272 What culture in South Korea are you most proud of? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 0
113271 What do people usually do during the winter season there in... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 381
113270 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 368
113269 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 467
113268 Would you describe your workplace as formal or casual? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 442
113267 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 381
113266 Middle child ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 368
113265 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 2
113264 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 2
113263 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 1
113262 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 1
113261 What was the longest time you have ever been awake in the... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 980
113260 1026 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 1220
113259 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 1
113258 Some people say that \"money makes the world go around.\" Do you... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 3
113257 There are some extreme hobbies that some people enjoy. What can... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 1
113256 What motivates you to do a great job at work? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 476
113255 what I do in morning to evening ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 374
113254 Why the farm animals are important ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 343
113253 1025(3) ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 375

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04