¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How would life be without music?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*Àº
2021-12-08 90

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that music is a kind of painting.
Because it make a life colorful and diverse.
Then our life would be simple not diverse without music.
And diversity is one of most important factors of creativity.
In short, our life is going to be not creative without music.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Ian!  Thank you for doing your homework. Your sentence construction is getting better. Great!

- Debbie

I think that music is a kind of painting.
>> I think music is a kind of painting.

Because it make a life colorful and diverse.
>> It is because it makes our lives colorful and diverse.

Then our life would be simple not diverse without music.
>> Hence, our lives would be simple without music.

And diversity is one of most important factors of creativity.
>> Diversity is one of the most important factors of creativity.

In short, our life is going to be not creative without music.
>> In short, we would not be creative without music.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114404 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 110
114403 Do you believe in \"good luck\" charms? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 1
114402 Why do people want to explore the space? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 209
114401 What do you think is the most difficult thing about being a... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 0
114400 Do young men also have body image problems? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 78
114399 Which is better, borrowing or lending stuff? Explain your... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 155
114398 How I take my grandma ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 337
114397 Life without holidays will be awful ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 180
114396 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 551
114395 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 164
114394 Was this year better or worse than last year? How come? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 3
114393 Are you afraid of getting old? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114392 Family is more important than friends. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114391 What do you and your family usually do during Christmas? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114390 Are these sentences grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 539
114389 What is your favorite place in your city and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 164
114388 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 161
114387 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 316
114386 Presentation script related to my work-2 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114385 Presentation script related to my work-1 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04