¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How would life be without music?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*Àº
2021-12-08 312

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that music is a kind of painting.
Because it make a life colorful and diverse.
Then our life would be simple not diverse without music.
And diversity is one of most important factors of creativity.
In short, our life is going to be not creative without music.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Ian!  Thank you for doing your homework. Your sentence construction is getting better. Great!

- Debbie

I think that music is a kind of painting.
>> I think music is a kind of painting.

Because it make a life colorful and diverse.
>> It is because it makes our lives colorful and diverse.

Then our life would be simple not diverse without music.
>> Hence, our lives would be simple without music.

And diversity is one of most important factors of creativity.
>> Diversity is one of the most important factors of creativity.

In short, our life is going to be not creative without music.
>> In short, we would not be creative without music.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113750 It is very important ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 376
113749 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 459
113748 My husband ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 1
113747 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 514
113746 Choice between sleeping and eating °­* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 2
113745 Homework. °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 1
113744 homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 673
113743 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 0
113742 1110 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 1
113741 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 429
113740 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 1
113739 Do you have any collections? Tell me about it. If not, what... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 318
113738 What part of your Korean history is your favorite? Explain why. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 0
113737 What do you think is the biggest problem your country is facing... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 0
113736 Which one more than like ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 424
113735 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 395
113734 What will you do this weekend? ¾È*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 432
113733 If you were a song, what song would you be and why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 4
113732 Respect ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 392
113731 Does Korea have a very good transportation system? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 711

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04